As women, we go through so much over the entire span of our lives, from elementary school to retirement homes. We are filled with constant pressure of being perfect, living the perfect life and being in constant competition with one another. In my opinion, the competing women do needs to come to an end quickly. We face too much pressure from the outside world, because we deal with the stress of sexism and misogyny in our jobs, home life and society.
Does anyone know why is it that every time a woman speaks up about any sort of sexual harassment she has faced, the legitimacy of her claims are immediately questioned? How many have to speak up and say something happened to them? From Fox News CEO, Roger Ailes and his two allegations from former employees, to Bill Cosby and his dozens of allegations, why do multiple women have to come forward before they are believed?
Such is the case when a woman says she has been raped. A woman has to go through telling her story repeatedly before she is even believed. Even after that, she is being told that for some reason she was “asking for it” whether it be because of the way she was dressed, how much she drank, or if she made out with some guy at a party. Nobody is asking to be raped due to how short her skirt is, how much she drank or even if a guy thinks he owes her something.
After a woman gets her story told, her perpetrator almost always gets off scot-free. This is similar with what Emma Sulkowicz had to deal with. Emma, a Columbia University student, got national attention after she was walking around the university carrying a mattress due to the lack of punishment her rapist received. However, this doesn't just happen at Ivy League schools; it happens at HBCU’s. The Twitter handle, @RapedAtSpelman, first showed up on the social networking site in May of 2016. The tweets were statements made by an anonymous user, who said she was gang raped by men who went to Morehouse.
Instead of teaching girls what to do to not get raped, teach boys to not rape. Instead of telling girls what they can’t wear, teach boys to not sexualize girls. Instead of telling girls that a boy likes them when he’s being mean, tell boys to not be mean to girls.
However it’s not just sexualizing that is the problem for women. Women get paid .75 for every dollar a man makes, and that may be true for white women, but for women of color that number drops significantly.
Not only do we get paid less, but we, women of color, also have to deal with the lack of representation in the media. The media is filled with blonde-haired, blue-eyed 5-foot-7 beauties that grace our screen day-in and day-out, all that play a variety of roles. The problem with that narrative is, the world is filled with more people who aren't blond and have blue eyes than ones that do. So, imagine if every time you watch TV or a movie and the people who are the same skin color as you are seen as being poor, or slutty, or a maid. That is the case for many children of color. A way to combat that is for the many actresses of color to speak up and to help create roles that show women in a positive light. In order to show the next generation how brilliant women can be we need to set an example by having positive role models for them to look up to. Recently, actress Yara Shahidi, spoke up about the lack of positive representation in the media.
Here’s my advice to women everywhere: instead of tearing each other down, it's time to start building each other up. Let's stop calling each other sluts and hoes for having more sexual partners than you think is okay, and applaud them for having safe sex. The more we tear each other down, the more men think it's okay to tear us down. Our sisterhood is stronger when we stand together, not apart.
We all need to stand together and become the strong women we are meant to be. Every woman is strong, beautiful and can accomplish anything that comes our way. So, let's start being that: strong, smart and educated women. For those that are already there, help those who need it because one woman can't do it on her own.
