It's 2018 And Women Still Can't Say No Without Fearing For Their Lives

It's 2018 And Women Still Can't Say No Without Fearing For Their Lives

Not all women wanna sleep with you or go on a date with you, you gotta get used to it.

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A young girl is going on a morning jog when she notices a car following her. The man inside the car tries to pursue her and the girl threatens to call the cops. Instead of leaving her alone, the man smuggles the girl into the car of his trunk and next thing you know, her dead body is found months later.

The girl's name was Mollie Tibbet and her murderer was a man who couldn't handle rejection.

Unfortunately, this is not the first time a woman has been murdered because she said no or rejected a man's pursuit. I'm not saying all men are like this, but, let's be real, most are. They are raised to think that if they want to be with a girl have sex with her, she automatically wants to as well. But that is not always the case.

Some women don't feel comfortable with random men approaching them out of the blue. Some women don't want to kiss on the first date or they don't want to date at all. But when a woman directly tells a man this, it hurts his ego and he retaliates with hurtful words and extreme behavior such as physical abuse or even homicide in some cases. In South Asian countries, men throw acid at women when they reject a marriage proposal or want a divorce. These cases make other women fear standing up or saying no to men and it is extremely unhealthy.

In most households, men are raised to be more assertive and dominant in their behavior. Women are taught to be more submissive and gentle. It's because of this unequal treatment that women are being abused and murdered every single day. These type of men think that women acting so nice and gentle will get them whatever they want and it catches them by surprise when women simply say no.

So, what's the solution? Now, I don't want to sound like a broken record, but we need to start raising our sons better. And not just sons, but daughters, too. We cannot raise men to think that women are so inferior to them that it makes them want to beat or murder her whenever she rejects him. And we cannot raise our girls to be so gentle and sweet all the time because it will only lead to more difficulties for her in her future relationships. We need to raise them to be able to say no and raise boys to be able to accept it.

To all the guys reading this, try to understand that women do not have to always comply or agree with what you say. Rejection happens, it is a part of life. No woman deserves to be verbally or physically abused and certainly not killed just because their opinions and thoughts do not align with yours. These senseless acts of violence do more than just physical damage to a woman. It has psychological effects that can last for a very long time.

Don't call her a slut just because she doesn't want to date you. Don't call her a prude just because she doesn't want to have sex with you. Don't throw acid at her and ruin her entire face and body just because she doesn't want to marry you. Don't slap her just because she didn't listen to you. Just like all humans, women have the right to say no. And as men, you have the obligation to respect and accept that.

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Why You Should Stop Chasing Him

You deserve better.
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They say “the thrill of the chase" makes someone more enticing. There's just something about wanting something you can't have that drives you crazy (in a good way). There is never a dull moment. Pursuing him is a challenge. Nothing comes easily. What's the fun in that anyway?

I'm going to tell you this: stop chasing him. Stop forgiving him when he forgets to answer your text messages and phone calls. Stop being the one to always make plans. Stop letting him bail on you. Stop waiting around for him. Stop being lied to. Stop making excuses when he doesn't make time for you. There is a difference between someone who is “hard to get" and a flat out jerk who doesn't give you the time of day. Stop letting him use you.

You deserve to be with someone who makes you fall asleep every night in the middle of texting him because neither of you want the conversation to end. You deserve someone who plans dates for the two of you. You deserve someone who asks you to hang out before midnight. You deserve someone who wants to spend time with you just as much as you do with them. You deserve someone who insists on paying for your ice cream. You deserve someone who won't deceive you. You deserve someone who is straightforward. You deserve attention. You deserve affection. You deserve a partnership that is mutual, not one-sided. You deserve to be chased.

You are better than 3 a.m. “Hey" texts. You are better than a night spent watching a movie just to fool around. You are better than trying to decode his vague messages. You are better than his shadiness. You are better than mind games. You are better than being ignored.

If you have to chase him, he's not worth it. Don't settle for someone who makes you beg for his attention. If he is genuinely interested in getting to know you, he will put in the effort. A relationship where your feelings are reciprocated is far more rewarding than one where you constantly feel like you have to drag him along.

Change your mentality. Become more independent. Be confident, be bold. Find happiness in being alone. Don't waste your time pathetically chasing after someone who doesn't feel the same, but doesn't have the heart or the courage to tell you so. Your self-confidence and positivity will make you radiant, and eventually, you will attract the kind of guy who is mature enough to not mess with your head.

Cover Image Credit: weheartit.com

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Ladies, Stop Trying To Teach Boys How To Be Your Man If They're Not Even Men In The First Place

It is your job to love him. But it is not your job to teach him how to love you back.

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I see. this way too often, honestly it upsets me and breaks my heart. It breaks my heart when I see a girl begging her boyfriend to put her on her Snapchat story. It breaks my heart when I see a girl begging her boyfriend to get off a video game and spend time with her. It breaks my heart when I see a girl doodling on a napkin at the dinner table and her boyfriend is on his phone and hasn't even looked up at her once. These things break my heart because this girl, whoever she may be, maybe it is you? She deserves a man. What she has though, is a boy. And before you say anything, yes, there is a huge difference.

I was that girl once. I begged and begged my ex-boyfriend all the time to put me on his Snapchat story. You may be reading this and be thinking "Wow she's a little attention seeking." No, that is not it at all. A simple act of being posted about made me feel special, loved, missed at times, and served as reassurance and a word of affirmation for me. Do you want to know something silly? Maybe you've done it too. Sometimes I would do something crazy to get his attention. Something funny, and silly and random just so he would post me on his story and I wouldn't have to ask.

At the dinner table, I was that girl that while he was on his phone I was sliding him notes on a napkin saying "I love you" or "Hi" or funny jokes to get his full and undivided attention.

At home, I was the girl that used to literally throw myself at him while he was playing video games to try and get him to press pause for two minutes and pay attention to me and have a conversation with me.

You see, I was that girl. But I refuse to ever be that girl again. If you are that girl, stop what you're doing.

It is your job to love him. But it is not your job to teach him how to love you back.

There is a big difference between a boy and a man. Contrary to what society may believe most boys don't actually turn into men until they are almost 40. Scary for us girls right? But here's the kicker and to be honest it has nothing to do with age.

Any boy that is in the process of becoming a man and maturing is going to know how to treat a woman. He is not going to choose video games or his phone over you. He is going to post you everywhere all the time because he wants to show you off to the world and make you feel special. He isn't going to ever leave you wondering.

The list could really go on comparing and contrasting the differences between a boy and a man but the important ones to remember when you are in a relationship are:

1. A boy thinks "me." A man thinks "us"

2. A boy gives false promises. A man honors his commitments (one being you.)

3. A boy cares about how you look in jeans. A man cares about how you look in his future.

4. You will always wonder how a boy feels about you. You will always know how a man feels about you.

All too often I see girls in the act of this. It is almost like they are training a dog or raising a child. They order them around and become demanding when it comes to doing things that make them feel special, validated and reassured. Granted, they are doing this because their relationship is lacking something but the truth is, it shouldn't be lacking something in the first place.

You are dating a boy not a man. I hate to break that to you. I really do. It's the hardest news you'll ever receive. Why? Well because

You can't fix him, you can't teach him, and you can't change a boy into a man. They have to do it on their own

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