There is a quote from Socrates that states: “Some people put walls up, not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to knock them down.”
This powerful quote has received a massive amount of circulation and, sadly, people have succumbed to conforming themselves to this ideology. I understand that you have been hurt, heartbroken, sad, or whatever the case may be, but what I feel like people fail to remember is that we all have. We all have been hurt one way or another, experienced a time of sadness, and have been wounded by someone’s wrongdoing. This quote justifies your insecurities, gives you an excuse to feel vulnerable, and it provides you a reason to start building your walls. However, this statement provides such a negative aura in your life that it makes you doubtful, timid, fearful, and anxious. It is sad that you have built walls around your own heart to protect it from people like those who were in your past and, because of them, you have learned the wrong lesson. Those types of people that have hurt you are nothing more than someone in your past. I have seen a lot of good women who have turned their backs on a good man who is interested in them just because of past experiences.
We, as women, feel the need to have multiple layers of ourselves just like an onion. Our outer layers are for those who just pass by us, the second layer is for those who are acquaintances, our third layer is for those who are somewhat close to us, but not fully, and our inner core is only seen by those who we truly trust. You have created these different layers because you are saving yourself from having to experience pain all over again. However, these multiple walls that are being built can, in some cases, harm you rather than do you good. This wall that is up can’t stop you from being hurt or stop you from feeling pain, but what it can do is drive a beautiful blessing away. So why is having this wall up good? Does it benefit you in life? Does it mean that you have surpassed that time of sorrow in your life? Is it fair for the next person who dates you? We sometimes do not even realize how high we have built these walls and the sad part is that if our walls are so high, did we learn something from that previous lesson? Yes, we have our guards up because we do not want the same hurt to sweep over us again, but why are we limiting what we have to offer? These walls are the result of someone in your past and this still means that they have power over you, because they are the one who has caused you to build up your fortress. I used to think of having walls up as protecting myself, but I asked myself this question: "Why am I limiting myself in life?"
The question above is a question that I tend to ask myself frequently. We are creating restrictions for ourselves and are setting up boundaries around our hearts. Instead, we should just learn from the lessons of our past and thank that person for giving us something to learn. Now we know that we will never tread that path again. So, the next time that someone amazing comes into your life, does not create borders for him to try to jump when he does not even know why he is trying to overcome them. By welcoming someone new into your life by making them feel undeserving while you are taking them through an emotional ride, you are potentially risking the loss of someone who could be a wonderful aspect in your life. Each time that you let someone who has hurt you in the past dictate your future, you are reminding them of how much power they still hold over you. We think that we have the power in our future relationship when, really, the person in your past is still the one controlling your relationships. You need to ask yourself this last question: "Are these walls really protecting you and are you willing to fully hold the power of your own heart instead of your past?" Once you are able to ask yourself that question, and answer honestly, you will have the capability of exposing yourself to genuine and honest love.
