Let us take a moment to appreciate the English language. Full of so many wonders and grammatical technicalities that those of us who learned it as toddler ought to thank our first educators immediately. What other language has conditional future tenses, funny words such as collywobble, and the combination of t and h to form a new sound? Yet we should be ashamed of ourselves, for the female gender neglects some of English’s most powerful words so that they may as well not exist. So this one is for you, misused words, and my apologies for the many times we as women have let you down.

1. Sorry

Be sincere and refuse to apologize unless you truly mean it. A nice ‘pardon me’ will do the trick if you find yourself in another’s way. But can we agree, here and now, to stop tossing the poor thing around incessantly as a second-thought, so that it might as well be a sneeze followed by a mindless ‘bless you’? Or sometimes, like unacknowledged sneezes, followed by nothing at all? Sorry originated as a word full of meaning, of emotion and remorse.

My favorite teacher, my mother, taught me from an early age how to deliver a proper apology. She would never accept a standalone ‘sorry’, but swore that an apology was meaningless until followed up by the reasoning. Sorry is a lonely creature who needs good influences and company to have his back. Without this he is simply not genuine.

2. Honest

Hamlet, in this case we are going to say ‘not to be’. Honest is more of an introvert than sorry. Honest is a lovely word. But add “to be” in preface, and suddenly you imply that everything else you say is dishonest. Shout-out to Aristotle for that logos.

3. Pretty

I came across a quote that caught my eye by Diana Vreeland. “You do not have to be beautiful to be wildly attractive.” Many more vibrant and gripping words exist than the ambiguous island of prettiness. Telling someone she is pretty stands as a passing wave or an assertion that they are not ugly.

A flower is pretty. A piece of music is pretty. A human being is so much more than this.

This is not to completely throw out the word. I have made life-long friends through appreciating their eye-catching shoes on the elevator, and there is no shame by killing a jabbing awkward silence with a light compliment. Beauty ought to be appreciated when presented.

But what I mean to say is that if we as women are going to complain about our objectification, then the first praise we deliver a four-year old should not be how pretty her dress is, but instead how killer her finger painting is or how impressive that goal kick was. We do not have to stray away from looks completely , but instead just comment on what a striking smile she has. It is that simple! (If you still feel awkward saying “I like your personality”, then click here for some ideas)

4.. This may be a dumb question, but…

Never ask a question that Google can’t answer. And after you have passed that checkmark, there is no such thing as a dumb question. Unless you are asking me if I find the Hemsworth brothers’ accents attractive or which dessert I would like. In which case it will always be the chocolate.

Adding on to this, using the conjunction ‘but’ is probably a bad idea, unless you wish to disprove everything you just said.

5. No

While all of these words are probably spoken too often, ‘no’ may not be spoken enough.

‘No’ may be my favorite word. No does not require an explanation. No does not need to be followed by an excuse. No can stand alone like the hardcore, unconquerable champ that it is. The two-letter word is universal, direct, and powerful.

Regardless of gender, learning how to say ‘no’ is an invaluable tool in getting what you want out of life. Like a tired baby fighting sleep from fearing what he may miss out on, I oftentimes say yes to everything thrown my way until I reach the end of the week and wonder where all of the time went for myself. There is a difference between being busy and being a capsized boat drowning under all of your commitments.

In other instances, this word is an inexcusable right that when said with conviction has the power to save you from a potentially harmful situation.