Womanhood doesn’t have to be a competition. As girls, we are allowed to be nice to one another and support each other instead of tearing one another down. There's no use in being mean.
I’m tired of being on edge whenever I meet another pretty/smart/talented/stylish/cool girl. I’m tired of hearing friends talking about how much they hate that rich girl on Instagram. I'm tired of knowing another girl has no reason to dislike me... yet it being plainly obvious that she does. Why can’t we all just get along?
Our society thrives on competition. Businesses need it to survive, students make use of it during college applications and every major TV network has some sort of reality show centered around it. Western culture seems to have pushed this idea down our throats from a young age. In many ways, women specifically have taken the competition a little too far.
Girls are constantly trying to prove themselves. We are consumed with being the best. From a young age, we will insult other girls’ beauty, intelligence and “promiscuity” in order to display ourselves in a better light. Beautiful girls are made to feel ugly just because others felt threatened by their looks. Smart girls are made to feel stupid just because others feel threatened by their intelligence. Friendly and flirtatious girls feel like “sluts” or “whores” because others are threatened by the attention they are receiving.
We talk about each other behind backs. Friends speak badly about one another to other friends. We give back-handed compliments and do our best to degrade the reputations of those we find intimidating.
Why?
In part, I feel girls do this to assert dominance. They want it to be known that they are the lead female (or want to be lead female) that all other females should follow or look up to. It’s a primal and evolutionary trait, which we use to make sure our blood line will continue. It's animalistic and completely natural, yet does that make it right?
However, I don’t believe this is the primary reason women so viciously tear each other down. In most of these situations, we are telling men how we feel about these other women. We want the men we are interested in or feel possession over to know that a certain woman has hips too wide, is a true “dumb blonde,” or sleeps around.
Once again, this can be dismissed as an evolutionary tactic. In our subconscious, we may be trying to convey to any potential partners that we are the best candidate for them. We feel a deep desire to slander the other woman’s name in order to get what we want. But I ask again: does that make it right?
To me, the human brain is too complex for our vile attempts to spread rumors about each other to be purely evolutionary. There are too many emotions and drives that play a part. Jealousy causes us to be spiteful. When we see someone who has what we want so badly, we can’t help but be jealous. Yet a lot of women take their jealousy over the line into hatred, which is where the malicious comments come from.
Even more, when we see someone who we assume to be trying to take what we want (i.e. a man, job, best friend), we try to ruin any chance they have of obtaining anything we believe we have ownership of. Although understandable, I ask again: does that make it right?
I believe there is no need for slandering, spreading rumors, making rude comments or being mean in general. I’m not advocating for just stepping aside and letting another woman take what you want, but there is absolutely no reason to be hateful. We need to try to overcome our natural instincts.
You don’t have to like everyone; that’s impossible. But you should be nice to everyone you meet, no matter what they do in their personal time. Stop trying to impress men by insulting another woman. You’re doing more damage to womankind than that specific woman. Further, you're making it okay for men to say the same things about that woman. Men are more likely to continue to call us bitches and sluts when they hear us calling each other bitches and sluts.
I think that if women would calm down and realize that we’re all on the same team, we would all feel a lot less hostile towards each other. We need to stand up united and together in order to tackle the bigger issues, instead of focusing on who’s prettiest, smartest or the most successful.
The overall message I’m trying to convey is this: WHO CARES?
Who cares if she’s smarter than you? Who cares if she has more money? Who cares if she’s slept with seven guys in the last month? All that really matters at the end of the day is you. Focus on what you're doing with your life, and leave everyone else alone.
