Here are some things you should know about me:

I'm loud.

I'm outspoken.

I'm painfully unfiltered.

But I am also a woman.

Because of this, I have been plagued with the inability to say "no," as well the immense guilt that accompanies the word as it escapes my lips.

It's not that I don't know what I want. And I've definitely turned down my fair share of men over the years (especially when they were almost three times my age).

But for some reason, I get choked up in the moment and can't seem to form those two simple letters.

Now, don't get me wrong. There have been some exceptions, times when I've flat out told a boy to get out of my face. That's not what I'm talking about — not random catcalls on the street.

I'm talking about the guys you go out with for dinner, or the times you're sitting across from one another, the tension builds and suddenly the kiss is as tangible as if it had already happened...

I'm talking about that moment when a boy leans in, and before contemplation can even be completed, lips are pursed & pressed together.

It's not that I'm concerned about hurting their feelings or wounding their pride. Instead, I feel that if I turn them down, things will end worse for me than if I just let it happen.

That's what I've learned over the years: that it's better to let a man get away with a little than to tell him "no."

It's tried and true: Hurt a man's ego and feel his wrath.

It's the polite "no thank you" when asked for my number and being called an "ugly b*tch" in retaliation. Or it's being honest about my feelings toward them (or lack thereof) and being called any string of unoriginal insults.

Every time I have turned a man down, no matter how gently, I have been verbally attacked.

Men feel so entitled to women that they act like they own us before they even know our names.

And if you so much as dent their egos, may the God of Butt-Hurt Boys have mercy on your soul.

Girls are forced to come up with "game plans" for how to handle these interactions, and believe me when I say that they are innumerable. There are varying levels of seriousness, aggression and tact involved with deterring each male we encounter. Sometimes, we have to resort to claiming we have a boyfriend because a man is quicker to respect another man's property than a woman herself.

It's sickening.

I am loud.

But I still feel the need to carry around a rape whistle that's louder.

I am outspoken.

But I find it difficult to speak out against the men that I interact with.

And I am painfully unfiltered.

But I make sure to never say the wrong thing — God forbid it be the last thing I say.

I am a woman.

And unfortunately, I have to live in fear of the species I was created to live with.