When you look into the mirror what do you see? Are you distracted by the way your nose curves ever so slightly to the right or that blemish you wish would disappear? Have you ever looked into the mirror and seen every single flaw, amplified by your own personal scrutiny? If you are a woman of any age, you can probably relate to the feeling.

This past Monday night in the wee hours of the morning, when I probably should have been resting for my 8:00 am class, I found myself searching through YouTube for some new songs. I somehow deviated to John Legend’s song “You & I”, a song probably eclipsed by the fame of “All of Me”. I am always a sucker for romance songs that could intercede if my life was a romantic comedy, so I decided to watch the video in its entirety. Let me just tell you, wow.

While the lyrics and melody are beautiful, it was the music video itself that left me floored. The song opens up with Legend as a blurred figure in the background, an image never brought to focus throughout the video. Legend’s beautiful wife then overshadows his feather image. She stands in front of the mirror, staring at the viewers as if they are her own image in a mirror. Her eyes seem cold and hard as she looks at herself, and subsequent scenes shot in the same fashion show the hard eyes of women and girls staring at their own reflections.

Something about their cold stares seemed so familiar; something recognizable about the way some averted their gaze from eye contact with their image or met their mirrored face with a blank expression. Then I realized that I meet that face in the mirror everyday, simply mirrored with my own dark eyes.

Now here is a new question, do you find yourself averting your gaze from all your problem areas? I realized I sure do. I catch myself staring away from the places I hate, as if they do not exist if I do not acknowledge them. I look away from the extra weight I have gained since starting college, and I avoid the stress acne I try to cover up. I look into my eyes with a steely stare, thinking, “if only this one feature was different, then I would be beautiful.” I stare at myself with a cold gaze, as if the woman in the mirror would break me if she saw any signs of weakness.

The eyes I look into through a mirror everyday, were now looking straight through me, so that I might see how another woman sees their own face and body. I was called to look at someone else the way they see themselves, as a woman questioning her own beauty and maybe even her own worth.

It was when I saw someone else looking at the way that I look at myself that I realized the negative thoughts were utterly ridiculous. I struggle with my self-image today, and I will tomorrow, but I saw how cold and maybe even broken each woman was because of her own insecurities. To her own eyes, she seems imperfect in someway, but in someone else’s eyes, every single one of them were beautiful.

Beauty comes from strength and passion and finding where your happiness lies. Beauty is being held in the arms of family, friends, and lovers and knowing they think you are perfect just the way you are. Next time you look into the mirror, do not forget to smile and look at everything you love about yourself. From the people you have impacted to the laugh lines around your eyes, do not look in the mirror and see your flaws, but empower yourself to see your beauty. Happy National Women’s Month!

To watch the video, click the link below: