To The Woman Who Thinks She Can Do It All, You’re Not Wonder Woman And That’s OK

To The Woman Who Thinks She Can Do It All, You’re Not Wonder Woman And That’s OK

Everyone needs a break every now and then.

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All my life, I would feel like I had to do everything for everyone or I would not be happy. I was a people pleaser. I also tend to think that if I was not doing something productive every single moment of my life, then I was considered a failure not only to myself but to my family. I would constantly look at my resume to see how successful my life is--and I cannot think that way anymore. I am 21 now, and it's taken me until now to realize that I cannot do everything.

No one is perfect.

I know that there are people out in the world that probably feel the same ways as I do. Well, I want all of them to remember that they are still incredible people who can do amazing things.

We get so tangled in life and try to accomplish so much that it puts a pull on us. We feel the weight of the world and a lot of us, including myself, begin to panic.

That is okay. We are okay.

Sometimes we bite off more than we can chew. So, I would advise to take a step back, look at all the things you are doing, and decide which things are actually good for you--and which you're doing for someone else.

In our twenties, these are the times to be selfish. This is the time to go out into the world and figure out what you want. Sometimes that means you break hearts, turn down some jobs, even pick up a new way of thinking. That is all alright. Like Wonder Woman, she has her strengths and her weaknesses are hidden, but she strives every day to make the world better.

Right now, I need you to praise your strengths, understand your own weaknesses, cut out what is weighing you down, in order to make your own world better.

You do that, as I will do the same.

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Learn How To Be Single

I know people that just can't live without being in a relationship, and it's time for that craziness to end.

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Sure, falling in love is amazing. Humans are social creatures, so it makes sense as to why we love to hype up the idea of being in love. We feel worthy and validated if we constantly have someone that makes us feel special. What I have noticed throughout my teenage and young adult years, however, is some of my peers really do not know how to function when single. They have to have a boyfriend or girlfriend constantly. Y'all need to learn how to be single!

1. Fight Loneliness Head-on 

Obviously, everyone hates feeling lonely. When you are in a relationship, it's super easy to not get lonely. You consistently have someone to talk to and provide you with attention. However, when you are single, you have more time on your hands, which may often be spent alone. On the other hand, you can also spend this time with your friends, family, or on making new acquaintances. You can give your attention to a much wider span of humans, and through this learn that you don't need a special someone to prevent you from feeling lonely (you can have many someones).

2. Explore Your Personality

I've noticed a lot of my girl friends with boyfriends find their identity in their relationships. They transform their personalities according to what their boy prefers. This is just not healthy at all! We all have unique likings and personalities, and we develop these by interacting with a large range of people, not just one romantic partner. By branching out on your own, you learn so much more about yourself than if you are constantly spending your time with just one person.

3. Learn to Love Yourself

By spending time alone, doing things you enjoy, and forming platonic relationships, you begin to truly see your worth and find that no one can take that away from you. On an airplane, they tell you to put your own oxygen mask before helping others. How are you going to love someone when you have no love for yourself? How are you going to have any love left when that person leaves? Like I said, falling in love is amazing and being in a relationship can be a perfectly healthy way to spend one's life. But if you don't know how to be single and satisfied with yourself first, the relationship is not going to be built on a strong foundation. Next time you find yourself single, meditate on that time before scrambling to find your next mate. I promise you, it's important.

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In The End, You Decide Your Own Fate

No matter how often I was given advice about something, ultimately it was up to me to decide my fate.

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Has anyone close to you ever tried to insert their opinion whether you wanted it or not? I'd like to assume that for anyone reading this, you've gotten some advice that you didn't completely want to take, even if it seemed good for you. I've sought out advice from many people, especially during the lowest parts of my life, and their opinion wasn't quite what I wanted to hear. Say for instance that some people don't like a friend you have or disagree with a decision you've made, how you spend your money, or anything else, really, and they tell you over and over again why you shouldn't do what you're doing or why you need to change your life habits. Often, no one wants to hear that they're screwing up in life, but is it always that you're screwing up or is it just that they don't like the way you live your life?

Here's how I see it: no matter how often you tell someone not to blow their money on insignificant things, how they shouldn't hang around a friend or even that they should break up with their boyfriend/girlfriend, it doesn't concern you. Don't get me wrong, giving your opinion isn't always a bad thing, but you have to understand it isn't always going to be taken and you have to let people learn the hard way or learn to improve their current situation by themselves. I often didn't learn lessons until I either made a mistake myself or until I watched someone else make a mistake. No one wants to learn the hard way, but sometimes I feel that it's a necessary step in developing who you are and strengthening yourself as well as your skills.

To clarify, I'm not saying learning the hard way isn't preventable. This is to say, if you know a decision is wrong, don't do it—plain and simple. In this sense, don't make the excuse that you have to learn one way or another. If it's bad, don't do it. I would hope that this is self-explanatory.

No matter how often I was given advice about something, ultimately it was up to me to decide my fate. It was up to me to decide what was worth fighting for, what was worth my energy, what I should be doing with my life. It didn't matter whether people agreed with me or not. In the end, it was (and is) my life and no one else suffers the consequences for my actions, only I do. So, therefore, it's my decision and I decide my own fate whether you're there for me or otherwise.

As painful as it is to watch someone mess up in life, sometimes—and I use this with emphasis— sometimes it is necessary to go through tough situations in life to pull yourself back up and figure out what's worth it in the end. It's similar to raising kids. Sure, you don't want them to mess up or feel any physical or emotional pain and you want to prevent all of life's hardships from being thrown at them, but we all have to learn somehow.

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