Ever since I was young, I had a basic plan for my life. I knew I needed to take my education seriously, graduate high school, go to college, and maintain high grades through all of it to succeed. Not only did I need it, I wanted it. I wanted success; I wanted something amazing for myself, even if I had no clue what I wanted that to be. I knew I could figure out those gritty details later.

I maintained all A's throughout the entirety of my school career. I took all AP classes and graduated with a 3.79 GPA. I was on a fast track to success after shaking my principal's hand and walking off that stage. I never suspected that I would be one of the "failures" dropping out of college. I never suspected I'd be trading a backpack full of opportunities for the stress of a full-time job with no real means to an end. I was, and I did, though, and that's okay.

Let me backtrack a little to give everyone some perspective: there were multiple reasons why college did not work out for me, and one very good reason why withdrawing was the best decision for me. I am not a "failure." I did what was best for me, and I know the decision I made saved my life.

I suffer from the super-strict-parent syndrome. Until I graduated high school, I had a curfew of 9:30 p.m. My phone went into my parents' room at that time on the dot. If I was even a minute late doing so, I would risk having it taken from me. My Wi-Fi and TV was also turned off, and I was expected to be in bed counting sheep. Most of the time, it felt like I had little to no control over my life.

Don't get me wrong, I love my parents to death. Now that I'm older, I understand why they did everything they did (although my eyes rolled to the back of my head every time I heard them say the classic, "One day, you'll understand this"). They were trying to teach me to be responsible with the time I had, as well as keep me focused on what was important: my future, not staying up all night scrolling through Facebook and talking to my friends.

On the contrary, though, it had the opposite effect on me. Once I moved into my dorm room, I had so much freedom I didn't know what to do with it. When I wasn't at work, I spent my time in the wrong places. I stayed out with my friends too much and focused on school too little. I missed several classes to the point of failing them due to absences. I rarely finished my homework, and I didn't even know what studying was. By the time I noticed the repercussions of my actions, it was too late into the semester to turn it around.

I realize this sounds like I had it easy, and I threw it all away just to have fun. Maybe I did. Maybe I wasn't mature or self-disciplined enough (which is very true; I can't deny it) and that was the sole issue alone. Maybe I just want to believe I didn't screw up my chance for an easier life. Maybe not.

It's easy to make light of another's situation when you're being lead through their darkness with a tour guide and a flashlight. You can see only the shadows once they've lit up the tunnel.

When I was in college, I felt utterly alone. Yes, I was surrounded by hundreds of people every day, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't make friends with my peers. I felt like an outcast like no one wanted me around; not even the friends I did have truly liked me. Everything I dreamed that college would be was disintegrating before me. Then, I lost my job, and money joined the ever-growing pile of stress sitting on my shoulders.

I started to drown in my own head. Everything around me was dulled by the darkness that never left. The only time I felt "okay " was when I was too drunk to think or care, and in turn, that became all I cared about. I spent all of my free time with a group of people who aren't around me anymore doing a lot of things I've grown to regret.

It got to the point I was ready to give up. Life seemed miserable and pointless. I didn't have a job, I couldn't catch up in school, I had no real friends (except a hand full of people I pushed away), and I was just tired. I'd had enough.

So, I tried to take my own life.

I was unsuccessful, and for that I am unbelievably grateful. Life is such a beautiful thing even when it's impossible to see through all that's weighing you down. Some times it just takes some major changes to be able to see the light again, and some times those changes are incredibly hard to make. I knew it was going to be hard, but that still didn't prepare me for the backlash I received for what I chose.

I withdrew from college to save my own life, and it was the best decision I've made thus far. Life has been hard, but it's been good. I would not be where I am if I didn't make the choice to leave, and I will never regret doing so. I intend to go back, of course, but only when the time is right.

For any one out there struggling with the idea of withdrawing, know that it's okay to do so. College isn't right for every one, and not every one is ready for it immediately after high school. There's always later, and it's okay to acknowledge that.