Imagine: Lasagna with Edgar Allan Poe himself. Sharing Apothic Red while discussing his reason behind a Tell Tale Heart.

I am sure that I am not the only one who thinks that Poe was the coolest guy on the planet. Besides his need for dead women, that makes me a little queezy. I went to Barnes and Noble a couple months ago and purchased a book, the size of my head that contains all his work. Who wouldn't buy that! Plus, it was only eight dollars! I love bargain shopping.

But, think about how awesome a dinner date would be with him. He would stare and judge all my life choices, but that is okay! We could talk about our love for the written language and why we think that morbidity is the best way to go. I would stare at his mustache and he would totally know, but not say a word. I would ask him to read Annabel Lee and ask, "ya know, which sea?"

I would eat really slow so it would never end. I would have him sign my pocket version book and the giant one and maybe even my arm. I would ask him to collaborate, but of course he would say no. I'd probably phone my family so that they could meet him too. Although, they are really obnoxious, so maybe not.

After whatever dinner we stuffed our faces with, we would enjoy some dessert. I would order everything and make him try it. "Cheesecake, Poe! You must have the cheesecake!" The lava cake, the three part mini chocolate mousse thingies and whatever other calorie inducing dessert they have.

You know the sweaty feeling you get when you leave an interview that went horribly awkward, but you went with it anyway? Or that "Why are we at a Hooters for our first date?" feeling? I would be that kind of sweaty times two, plus I would stutter. Who knows, he could find it charming.

Either way, Edgar Allan Poe, you were and continue to be an inspiration. If you are watching me write this, or thinking about reading it in the future, I am sorry if I weirded you out. That was my intent which I hope you loved. Goodnight and hopefully, we'll get that date.