Will You Accept This Rose?
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Will You Accept This Rose?

How 'The Bachelor' creates unrealistic expectations for relationships

Will You Accept This Rose?

Tonight, women from everywhere (and maybe a handful of men) will be tuning in to watch the anticipated season finale of 'The Bachelorette.' Every fan of the show is anxiously waiting to find out which lucky man JoJo will choose to spend the rest of her life with. For many, the Bachelorette has become a staple in our Monday night routines, but it our love for the show ruining our love for others in real life?

One woman, 26 good-looking men to choose from. Glamorous dresses, exotic vacations, romantic dates -- all of this leading to getting the perfect guy. The show makes falling in love seem magical and seamless and perfect. This is the first lie the Bachelor tells us. It presents us with a perfect formula on how to find a spouse. The formula leads us to believe that helicopter rides, make-outs in the ocean, and glasses of wine are sure-fire ways to get someone to fall in love with you. The lie here is that you can “fall in love,” but this is impossible. Love is a choice. You either choose to fall in love with someone or you choose not to. A fancy date is not the determining factor of that. You choose to love someone because of who they are and how they treat you and others, not because of how much money they can spend on you.

Another lie the Bachelor tells us is that love is a competition. Sure, the Bachelor really is a competition, but this is not any way to look at a relationship in real life. You are not in your relationship because you were the best option out of many. You are in your relationship because you were chosen, and you stay in that relationship because you are chosen every day. When you are chosen every day, there is no need to have to prove yourself. There’s no need to show why your partner should keep you around. Your partner already knows your worth, without requiring anything from you. Isn’t that relieving to know?

The last lie that I will discuss is the lie that physical touch is the most important part of the relationship. The show takes a lot of time to highlight all of the physical aspects of the relationships. I’d like to believe that these are emphasized in order to boost the ratings and the relationship is deeper off camera. I am really not sure that this is true, though, so I have to address the lie of physical touch. For some of you, physical touch is your love language, so it really is the most important part of the relationship for you. But for many others, it does not take precedence, and in every single healthy relationship, physical touch is not the only aspect. If you want a relationship to last, it needs to go beyond kissing and holding hands, and even sex or the desire for it. You have to take the time to really get to know your partner, spend time with them, and meet their needs. Those are what makes a relationship meaningful.

So go on, watch the finale tonight. Watch all of the seasons to come. Find enjoyment in the show. There is no shame in that. Just remember that what you’re watching on the screen is not meant to be an example for your relationships.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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