The fourth year without you has come near to an end. The worst part about it is, it still feels like the first at times. I have overcome some of the hardest experiences of my life since you've passed, and I only wish you could've been here to hold my hand during each one. I have to believe you are up there guiding me every step of the way, helping me get the best out of this life that I can. Our relationship got cut short and I would do anything just to hear your voice one last time.
You've taught me I'm stronger than I ever believed I could be. Throughout my life I never once saw you quit. Because of that I know I can't either, no matter how badly I want to sometimes.
These years have gone by fast and way too slow at the same time. I can still hear your cowboy boots on the kitchen floor, and the way you yelled "Sadie Lynn" when you annoyingly wanted to wake me up in the mornings. Anytime I see a white King Ranch Ford, I cant help but think it's yours. So many things remind me of you, but that only keeps me hopeful you are near by.
I see more and more of you in Braedon as the time passes and he grows up. I wish there was a way to go back to those weeks during the summer so I could enjoy them a little bit more. All the fun amazing things we got to do are just memories I so badly want to relive one last time. I
never got a chance to thank you for all the things you did for me, and for giving me some of the best life experiences. I remember the night you told me you were looking into getting an airplane and I thought you were nuts, even told you so. You did it, and I believe it was one of the best things you ever did, no matter what the circumstances are now. There are so many things I could say like, I wish you wouldn't have gone, or why didn't you just turn around and come back when the weather got bad? None of that changes where we are now, or the fact that we cant bring you back. You are missed beyond belief and I cant wait until the day that I get to see you again.
I was certainly not prepared to lose such a big part of my life at the age I did, but I am hopeful someday I figure out why it all had to happen this way. For now I hope you know that we are all ok, but this life will never be the same without you in it. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you. Fly high Daddy, I love you with all my heart.
XOXO,
Your little girl
