10 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Read This Post
Start writing a post

10 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Read This Post

Prepare to have your mind blown by things you already knew!

shocked emoji
Image by Tumisu from Pixabay.

Well, here we are. You've gone and clicked on the headline, even though I practically told you not to. Do you feel special? Like a rebel, staring expectation in the face? Like you're privy to a secret that only an exceptional few dare to gaze upon? Don't kid yourself. Welcome to the weirdest list you will ever read in your short, human life. (And yes, it's even weirder than "7 Great Foods To Eat In The Shower".)

1. It is a complete waste of time.

Seriously, you couldn't think of a better way to procrastinate? Go browse the Wikipedia page on moths or something. Anything would be better than this trash.

2. The headline is clearly clickbait.

It's almost as bad as those "You Won't Believe…!" posts. One time, I clicked on one that was like, "You Won't Believe What These Child Stars Look Like Now!" And wow, what a surprise: they looked like adults. Not all of us are plastic, unaging robots manufactured solely for public entertainment, okay? Maybe I should have titled this: "You Won't Believe How Disappointed You'll Be At The End Of This List!"

3. There are too many ads.

(Unless you have adblocker.) And all around, you can find recommendations for more time-wasting articles just like this one! Articles? Blog Posts? Lists? What do I even call this? Odyssey calls it a 'listicle', but I don't like that word because it sounds like 'testicle'.

4. There's nothing at the end of this list.

If you're expecting a punchline, it's not going to come. Better click away now. Go read something productive, like, "10 Reasons You Should Write a Novel."

5. Okay, I wrote a novel.

I wrote it in the 1-2 seconds it took for you to scroll down. It's about a person who was so bored that they decided to click on a really boring Odyssey article. Yeah, that's right. It's about you. No, you can't read it. Besides, you're already so engrossed in reading this.

6. Only Joe would keep reading beyond this point.

7. Why are you still here?

Were the ads not enough to deter you? Are you a completionist, like someone who tries to find all the hidden treasures and easter eggs in their video games? That takes dedication. Props to you. But there's nothing hidden in this article. The first letters of each sentence definitely don't spell out a secret message or anything.

8. It is a complete waste of time.

You're not crazy: this is a repeat of Reason #1. See, look at how poorly written this article is. And it's only going to get worse. Some words might be missspelld, and I might not even finish my

9. Last chance to leave before you're truly shocked!

Dammit, what's wrong with me? I tried to spare you from this nonsense, I really did. I can't help it that my headlines are all clickbait and my content is all garbage. I know there's nothing I can do to stop you from clicking to the tenth and final slide. Well, I guess I could hack into your device and make everything crash at this very second, but I'm not going to do that because… because I care about you. I push everyone away, and yet, you've stayed with me until the end. Despite myself, I have enjoyed our time together. Thank you for this experience. But, like I said in Reason #4…

 10. nothing

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Ronny Salerno

This feeling hurts. I must declare

Keep Reading... Show less

10 Holiday Drinks to Spice Up this December's Movie Binge

After all, isn't it the season of drinking...?

10 Holiday Drinks to Spice Up this December's Movie Binge

Thanksgiving has officially ended which means we are in preparation for the final holidays of the year. December is a busy month, filled with shopping and sales, wrapping gifts, planning family gathering and parties, cooking and baking, holiday movies, and of course, lots of drinking. I know that I will be spending a lot of December watching the ABC Family's 25 Days of Christmas,

Keep Reading... Show less

Planning Another Christmas Party

Don't just plan another plain party but get creative to have everyone wanting to come back next year!

Getty Famous

You know it's Christmas when the radio stations change to all of your favorite holiday tunes, the air is still, and stores have the best sales. With all my favorite things from Christmas happening my least favorite probably has to be when I have to go to another same old boring Christmas party that I get invited to every year. Here are some Christmas party ideas so that you won't have another sad Christmas party.

Keep Reading... Show less

High School Soccer is Wildly Important

For Young Players Who Want to Succeed at The Next Level

High School Soccer is Wildly Important

Whose choice is it? The parent? The player? There are a number of reasons that a kid may sit out of high school soccer, and to be completely honest; It is a huge mistake. High school soccer is the final piece in the puzzle that takes a player from above average or elite, to college ready by the end of their senior year. Every year thousands of talented athletes don't play for their high schools. Why though?

Keep Reading... Show less

8 Things That Should Be On Everyone's Holiday To-Do List

December is around the corner, are you ready?

8 Things That Should Be On Everyone's Holiday To-Do List

As they tend to say, its the most wonderful time of the year! People have begun to compile their Christmas to-do lists in anticipation for the season of sugarplums and gingerbread.

The history of the Christmas to-do lists goes back hundreds of years, almost as old as the holiday itself, however, people tend to fall out of this habit as they get older. This is unfortunate, as the theme of Christmas tradition can add bundles of the spirit of joy to your families.

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments