I recently read a book called "The Defining Decade," by Dr. Meg Jay. A psychologist drafting together true stories about people trying to find their way in their twenties, she aims to advise her readers about how the choices you make in this prime age define who you'll be in your thirties and so on. While this book was immensely informative and eye opening to the importance of decision making, it was surprisingly comforting. Many people in this book were still confused as to where they should be in life, with some nearing the end of their twenties with close to nothing figured out. The moral of the story, as I see it, is that your decisions at this age absolutely do affect where you'll go career-wise and what you'll do with what you've acquired. However, they do not affect who you'll be.

I am a prime example of someone who is lost in confusion in an age where you're expected by many to be on the road to success. After high school, I headed to a great college, expected to find my way quickly, and sail through the next four years. This was not the case. I struggled finding academics that would hold my attention or a passion to latch on to. I waited for that moment where I felt content with where I was going and could truthfully say, "I love college." The moment didn't come and, quite honestly, it still hasn't. So, I decided to take a semester off from school. This allowed me to take a break from the constant overthinking and stressful nights pondering over what I'm supposed to be doing. Let me tell you how that went.

The past few months away from school have been some of the messiest, confusing, trying times I've had. I grew up with strict, traditional parents, so after tasting a bite of freedom it was not easy settling back into that lifestyle. I wanted to do whatever I pleased and not be condemned for any choices I made. I went out a lot, got a few tattoos they hate and mostly I just argued with them. Surprisingly, we've never been closer. When I was at school, we got along great talking once a week, but mainly about minuscule matters. Spending all this time disagreeing and bickering has allowed them to understand me in ways I never thought they would. I was forced to get a real job and sit at a desk all day, listening to people yell at me on the phone for eight hours until I could go home and kick myself for not staying at school. I hated it at first, but it has opened my eyes to a few slices of reality. Yes, you do need a degree if you want a decent job. But for God's sake, choose something that doesn't make you look forward to 5 o'clock every day. It is a sickening sensation.

I've learned that it is necessary for me to go back to school, which I plan on doing. But I've also learned that it's important to love what you're studying, try new things, make stupid mistakes your parents will still love you for, and realize that it's completely okay not to graduate in four years. This is the defining decade and yes, you are setting yourself up for the rest of your life. But, you are also setting the tone for your self-awareness, your belief in your abilities, and the level to which you allow yourself to be inspired. This is the time to learn and grow up. In doing so, I hope you learn more about yourself and grow into a person you'll be proud of. Take these flexible years to really figure yourself out rather than figuring your life out. There's still a lot of time for that.