Let me start off by saying that it’s extremely rare to find an African-American with 100 percent African ancestry.

Yes, I have long naturally curly hair. Yes, I a have lighter skin tone than some of my friends. I’ll even admit that my eyes look lighter if the sun hits them the right way. I will not deny any of these things, but is either one of my parents “white"? Absolutely not, and neither are any of my grandparents.

First off, I find it interesting that when people are asking if I’m mixed, they aren’t asking what is my ethnicity. Almost every time, they are asking if one of my parents is white. It’s never about my culture or even where I am from, it’s always this blunt purpose to figure out if I have a white mother or father. What’s even more twisted is I get asked if I am mixed more than some of my friends who actually do have a white mother.

Secondly, aren’t most of us mixed? Like I said earlier, there are very few African-Americans that are purely African. Most people I have met who identify as African-American like I do have family members that are Jamaican, Puerto Rican, German, Nigerian, Russian, French, and many others. So aren’t they “mixed” as well?

I just think it’s becoming silly to ask the question, "Are you mixed?" when what people really mean is, “Are either of your parents white?” It’s also silly because people are usually just asking based on that person’s appearance and features. I honestly believe if I had a different curl pattern, I would get asked if I was mixed way less often.

Also, I want to know who became the figurehead for how a mixed person looks. Be honest, as soon as you read the title of this article, a specific image or certain characteristics probably came into your head. Why is that? Whoever came out and said this is what being mixed looked like? This is especially interesting to me because when I think of all my friends who do have a white parent, they all look completely different. Like everyone else, there is great variety in hair colors, skin colors, hair textures, eye colors, and any other clichéd “mixed” feature people love to use.

So from a girl who gets asked this question frequently, here is how I would go about finding out if someone has a white parent or not. I would do less assuming and just simply ask about where they are from and learn about that person’s family history. This is a much more comforting conversation to have with people rather than just asking someone you barely know, “Hey, are either of your parents white?”