Some people know what they want to do with the rest of their lives as they graduate high school. Some people figure it out in college. Then there are the rest of us, those who struggle, or decide to change paths, and take a little more time to figure it all out. In terms of higher education and pursuing your passions, it can be one of the most challenging things a person can endure, at least that's the way it was for me.

Vying for a competitive graduate seat is nothing short of pure determination. Oftentimes, hundreds of applicants apply for a program where only 30 to 40 people are accepted. This high applicant pool vs. low-class number ratio is common among competitive graduate programs. The requirements seem daunting, and many universities vary in their requirements, which only exacerbates the process. Sometimes you’re left eliminating a school simply because you can't afford or have the time to take that one random prerequisite. It becomes a battle, an epic puzzle, trying to fit into all the deadlines and countless requirements for each program.

There’s always a lot of buzz about the application process. People tell you to apply anywhere between 10 to 15 different programs. They tell you to perform beyond the expected observation hours they have listed. They tell you to submit your application way before it's actually due to have a fair chance at getting accepted. Applicants worry whether their prerequisites are from a local county college or a prestigious university. And don’t forget about those extracurricular activities!

Well I'm here to share with you that all these notions of graduate school and what will secure your seat is completely unpredictable. I personally know individuals that have submitted their application on the absolute last day, while only completing the minimum amount of hours of observation required, with little extracurricular activity, and getting in their first shot at the only school they applied to. Then there are people like me who had hundreds of extra hours of observation, extra courses, submitted early, a laundry list of extracurricular activities, and saw no such luck.

I'm here to share my own personal struggle with this chapter in my life in hopes that it might inspire people not to give up on their dreams. When I was a senior at Rutgers University about to graduate with my BA in Social Work, I met a girl who was preparing to apply to graduate school for occupational therapy. I was familiar with occupational therapy, but as we chatted, my interest peaked and I decided to look more closely at "OT", as they call it. I worked it out with my professor to do my senior year of fieldwork at a private pediatric setting observing an occupational therapist while working as a social work intern, killing two birds with one stone. I completed my required 450 hours for graduation, as well as getting 450 observation hours for OT under my belt. See, I knew within my first week that I wanted to change my entire career path. I fell in love with OT instantaneously. If someone could tailor fit a career for me, OT was it. But I was literally about to graduate college. How was I going to completely change my career path? I didn't know where to start.

I slowly began my journey. I did my research. I looked into programs. I realized that I needed some prerequisites, a year of anatomy and physiology, physics, to name a few. I also realized I had some prerequisites completed already. Phew. Looking at my transcripts I saw that one those classes I had only received a “B” in because I was a freshman in college and didn't realize this course would be so integral four years down the road. Slight panic. After all, you need straight A’s to get into graduate school, they said.

The road seemed bumpy and arduous but there was a quote that kept getting me through: "Never give up on your dreams just because of the time it will take to complete them. The time will pass anyway". So I worked. I went to school part-time at county college and tried to work full-time as best I could. I juggled my school life, work life, social life, finances, and other responsibilities. But I also took time to travel around the world on the cheap, to learn, and to gain invaluable life experience. I grew as a woman and a human being. I became a certified yoga instructor. I spent time with my dog, my boyfriend, and my friends.

Flash forward a year or so. I applied to two universities near my house, Seton Hall and Kean, for a Master’s of Science in Occupational Therapy. My application was strong and I felt extremely positive that I would get accepted. No one else in my family had gone to graduate school so I wasn't entirely sure of the ropes. I also wasn’t as well versed this first time on how competitive this whole process would be. The day came in the mail when I got my first letter: a rejection. A few weeks later, the next letter: another rejection. I can't describe to you the feeling unless you've been there. To put so much time over the past two years working towards a single goal and to have it crushed in a minute is one of the worst feelings I've ever experienced. I crawled in my bed hysterically crying feeling like the biggest failure to myself. Who was I kidding that I'd be the first one in my family to go to graduate school?

It was only about a week or two until I realized enough of that shit. If I want this I need to work harder and that's what I did. I did everything I could to learn more about the programs and the essays. I emailed both universities looking for people to speak with to learn why I was rejected and what I could do better. I read and studied and worked and took another class. But to be honest one of the hardest things was when people had asked me if I had gotten in and I had to say no. I couldn't really give a shit what other people think about me. I'm also not someone who has that crippling complex where they need to make their parents or everyone else proud, none of that matters to me. What matters at the end of the day, is that I'm proud of myself. See, every time I had to say " no I didn't get it", it was just a constant reminder that I felt I had somehow failed myself. There were days that felt harder than others days where I doubted myself, but I kept persevering.

There are only 3 universities that offer the occupational therapy masters program in New Jersey. The following year I applied to all 3 programs: Seton Hall, Kean, and Stockton. Seton hall's letter came, rejected... again. Kean's letter came, rejected...again. I couldn't believe it. I was absolutely crushed. The other schools in other states were all rejections as well. I went into a depression for a bit, just exhausted and numb, my body and mind racing with emotional turmoil.

A few weeks go by and I get an email from Stockton University. The email said that I was one of 60 applicants among the pool of hundreds that have been asked to interview at the university as part of the next step in the application process. I screamed. I laughed. I celebrated. There was hope.

On the morning of my interview, I felt like I wanted to throw up. I couldn't believe that my entire future felt like it was hanging on 20 minutes and my ability to control my nerves. As I sat in silence waiting to be called I silently kept a mantra going in my head “please let them see how badly I want this and how much this means to me”. I wasn't just picking this profession because it pays well, or would be a secure steady job, becoming an occupational therapist was a calling for me.

A few weeks went by when I received a letter in the mail from Stockton. I had been waitlisted. Tears overcame me. Failure overcame me. I felt like I had nothing left to give.

About a week later I was drowning my sorrows with some ice cream curled up with my dog when my phone rang. "Alexandra Burns?"

"Yes this is she..."
"I'm calling to let you know you've been pulled from the wait list. You've been accepted to Stockton University's Master’s of Science in Occupational Therapy program".

I'll never forget me screaming, "Are you shitting me?” Him laughing "No!" I asked him about five times if this was a joke. He laughed and kept congratulating me and I cried tears of joy and accepted as fast as I could. I did it. Through all the hell and all the rejection I freaking did it! I will never forget that day as long as I live.

As I entered my first year, I moved in with a second year student who eventually became one of my closest friends. She was the president of our OT organization, smart, outgoing, and seemed to me one of the best students In the class. In our first week of living together I shared my story with her. She smiled and said, “Want to know something? I was the last person accepted off the wait list last year. I actually started the class two weeks later than everyone else”. I couldn't believe it. She seems like a force to be reckoned with she was doing so many amazing things, being a true leader, and yet for some reason the faculty didn't see it the first time around. But they sure saw it now.

I ended up becoming Vice President underneath my roomie and dear friend Gabrielle. I worked extremely hard and earned straight A's through my entire semester. I also managed a graduate assistantship where I worked for 4.5 hours a week under the direction of a professor in our program. I completed a research study and was the only first year student to attend the national OT conference in Chicago as a presenter of my research. I'm currently working on a book review and will be a published author by the time I graduate. Finally, I am happy to say that I was elected to take over Gabrielle's position as President in September 2016.

I hope that by sharing my story of rejection and resiliency that I can inspire others who are struggling to keep fighting for their dreams. Nothing comes easy in life, and the things we fight for the most are often the most rewarding. Sometimes I have these moments where I overhear people complaining about the coursework, or the amount of reading, or whatever else, and while I agree how extremely difficult this competitive graduate program can be, I smile on the inside because this is everything I ever wanted. I don't waste my time wishing away graduate school. Although at times I feel like I won't make it, I just think about my journey to get here and I know I will make it because I'm a fighter and I never give up on my dreams.