Last week, I wrote about why you should fall in love with a writer. While writing, I realized something: writers can be terrible, miserable people. Look at how Sylvia Plath, Virginia Woolf, Edgar Allan Poe and Kurt Vonnegut turned out (hint: they either attempted to, or succeeded in killing themselves), and that's just to name a few. Maybe it's best if you never fall in love with one, really. (The irony of me, a writer, saying this is actually lesser than you think. Writers are all masochists, after all — what have I done to deserve love?)
To put it simply: writers are ridiculously in touch with their feelings. So much so that it can ruin every bit of love they try to create and hold onto, and to love one inevitably means to be part of that ruin. To elaborate:
Writers think too much.
They're often depressed, bipolar, anxious and even substance-dependent. This isn't to say that anything is wrong with them, though, because having a mental illness does not equate to being damaged. However, you can't "fix" them, and often, they're a lot to handle. They will be too much sometimes. They will flood you with their love for you but also with their hate for themselves and their worries and their dreams and their writing ideas and everything they think is wrong in the world. They will overwhelm you. This is more of a disclaimer than a reason never to love one, but be prepared to accept them, listen to them and be their rock. They will need you in both healthy and unhealthy ways. They are often insecure. They get caught up on the small things. They will never think that they are good enough for you. Writers can destroy things just by over-analyzing them, and they will.
They expect too much out of people.
Rather, they expect people to put as much effort and as much of themselves into their relationships as they do. They're hopeless romantics. They love grand gestures and small surprises and will expect to be with someone who will think of those things. After all, writers spend their time reading about and creating characters that always think of these things. They don't really get over the "honeymoon phase," and they'll love you with the same fervor years in as they do when you first meet; but they'll expect nothing less in return. Writers want to be loved the way that they give love, even if they are too stubborn to admit it.
Sometimes, they will put in no effort at all.
They will be distant. Whether it be because they're overwhelmed with themselves and feeling too much, or they're too buried in their work, you will lose them from time to time. Their words will come before their love for you. They don't do it on purpose, but their connection to the written word is stronger than the one between you, and there's nothing you can do to change that. If you try to change it, you will lose them. You will have to let them come back on their own. Writers live inside their minds, and often, they forget (or simply retract from) the real world, which will, unfortunately, include you. But be patient: they will always come back.
As mentioned in my previous article, writers are artists whose medium is just different combinations of 26 letters. But as easily as they can string together words that will make you melt, they can also string together words to hurt you. They will fabricate exactly what you do not want to hear. They know what words work best together to destroy, and they will know you well enough to destroy you. After taking in all of you —not just your details but your fears, your insecurities, and your flaws, they will have the potential to hurt you like no one has ever hurt you before. They will take what they know and they will use it against you. Not to mention, writers have wondrous memories; they will remember every little secret you have told them, every moment of weakness, and they will take it to their advantage and they will hurt you.
On the other hand, writers don't take heartbreak well (I know, who does?). They romanticize everything (their feelings, their love, their depression —everything) and seem to think that because they feel everything so deeply, no one else's woes have ever or will ever match up to theirs. They are egotistical enough to think that their hearts break harder than yours. Their writing for you will continue even after you are long over, and you will probably hate it. They will be dramatic, and the end to your love will most likely be ugly and messy. They don't get over things well. They won't get over you. Because writers have a hard time letting go. And while you might fall out of love with them, part of them will never fall out of love with you.
