Foster care: a system run by the government and social services that places children who have been removed from their home or family into group home, institution, or foster home.
Unfortunately, many group homes are problematic because there are unskilled and inexpereinced workers put in charge and these children aren't getting the proper care and attention they deserve. The same goes for most institutions and foster homes. Why? There is a lack of skilled workers in the foster care system, therefore, exceptions are made for people who want to be group home or foster care parents and allow them to care for children they probably shouldn't be allowed to care for. This leads to abuse, neglect, and unfair treatment to foster children across the country. It's a vicious cycle. They leave an abusive home just to be placed in another one. Doesn't seem fair, right?
Why am I telling you all of this? Well, hopefully, to get you to think about something you may not have considered before. Personally, I never considered being a parent to someone other than my own flesh and blood until a few years ago. Growing up, just like every other little girl, I dreamed of the day I'd marry a really cute boy and we would make really cute babies of our own. As my relationship with God grew over the years, He placed a new dream on my heart... to be a foster mom... and if you know me well enough, I've probably talked about it at least twenty times to you, babbling from excitement because in all honesty, I would have one (or 5) foster kids right now if I wasn't a broke college student who can't even remember to feed her cat.
I realize not everyone may get this same giddy feeling when thinking of fostering a child you don't even know. They're troubled kids, right? They misbehave and have "issues", right? They're going to end up leaving so what's the point? All are valid questions, I guess I just have a different outlook on it, though. Being a foster parent, even just for a few days, weeks, months, or years to a child who has been left behind by their family, abused in some way, mistreated, or all of the above, means that you will have the power to change that child's whole perspective on what a family should look like. You have the chance to love on someone who probably hasn't felt loved for a very long time. You have the opportunity to change the course of their life just by opening your heart and your home.
I have a friend who is a foster mom. She has explained to me time and time again how difficult the process has been for her and her family. She explained to me the hardships of parenting a child that isn't yours, and feeling the loss when that child eventually leaves your home. These children are broken. They have put up walls to keep from getting hurt again. They are hard to handle, hard to love, and hard to be patient with. She's also told me how rewarding it is. How she loves the transformation process that takes place when that child starts to trust you, starts to laugh with you and your family, starts to build relationships at school and learns that not everyone is going to leave them or hurt them.
Do I think parenting a foster child is for everyone? Definitely not. Do I think most people are more than capable of accommodating a child who needs the love of a family? Absolutely. There are opportunities to help right where you are. No matter if you are 16 or 60, I encourage you to do some research and consider fostering a child. Read books, blogs, and articles on this topic. Familiarize yourself with what foster care is even if you decide it's not for you. But who knows, maybe you'll fall in love with it just like I did. Will it be easy? Heck no. Will it be worth it? I've never been more sure of anything in my life.
"Foster care means choosing the pain of a great loss, if it means a child has received the gain of a great love". -Jason Johnson
Feel free to visit one of my favorite blogs about foster care jasonjohnsonblog.com
