We have obligations on a daily basis. These are things we have to do - like go to work, go to school, help our family members if they ask for it, etc. Then we have the homework and assignments we need to do outside of classroom hours, the work we have to do at our jobs or places of employment, and helping our family and friends with whatever mundane tasks they may need help with. Sometimes, these obligations catch up to us, and we feel stressed because it seems like there’s not enough time in the day to do these things.
Besides all this work, we have relationships with other people. Whether they’re romantic or platonic, we have relationships that we have to work on and forge to make sure they’re strong. And if you’re not in a committed romantic relationship, you might be talking to someone. Regardless of your relationship status, it takes time and dedication to make sure these relationships are strong. However, you don’t need to let everyone else take over your life and your choices.
Nobody should be telling you what you should be doing. There shouldn’t be a romantic figure in your life that’s constantly bossing you around, or telling you where to go and when. Nobody should be dictating who you’re allowed to hangout with or what you’re allowed to do in your free time. We try to appease the people in our lives because we worked so hard on these relationships and we don’t want to mess them up, but it’s okay to choose yourself first.
If you’re stressed, you can say you don’t have time to help your friend write her own report, because you have two other papers you need to be doing.
You shouldn’t be staying up until one in the morning because the guy you’re talking to wants to Snapchat you and you feel guilty telling him you can’t because you need to go to sleep.
You’re allowed to not answer your text messages while you’re at work because you’re doing work and don’t have time to focus on anything but work right now.
It’s finals week, you’re allowed to say no to the guy who won’t stop hitting you up to hook up because you need to study.
We teach people how we want to be treated by accepting how they treat us and not trying to correct their behavior. By constantly helping someone else with their problems instead of taking care of our own issues, it trains our brain to constantly do that - put other people’s needs over our own. Being selfless is one thing, but losing yourself in the act is another. No person is going to be around you 24/7 except for yourself, which is why it’s so important for you to make it a habit to take care of your own needs before anyone else’s. Make sure you like the person you see in the mirror, but also the person you’re talking to at three in the morning when you’re lonely and upset. It’s not just about your image, it’s about who you are as a person.
