There have been countless surveys and numerous studies dedicated to women and the effects of self-esteem on their behavior. I could name them for you and use sources to back up what I’m trying to say, but I really don’t think I need to. I can almost guarantee you that there is not a woman out there who is reading this and hasn’t at one point in her life felt like she wasn’t good enough.

I don’t think we start off this way. At least I didn’t. I was lucky enough that I surrounded myself with people who made me feel like I was beautiful. But like most, these relationships weren’t always as solid as they seemed. And much like the relationships fell apart, so did the foundation on which I had built my self-esteem.

After I didn’t have someone there to tell me I was good enough anymore, I stopped believing it. I had lost my foundation and I had lost my value, solely because I chose to place my worth in what other people thought of me. Time passed on and I struggled to find my identity because I continued to look for it in other people. However, I quickly learned that not everyone would be as kind as those I had given my heart to in the past. I quickly learned that some people aren’t out there looking to see why you’re beautiful on the inside.

The more and more I tried to find people to define my worth, the less they defined me as. The worse it got the more I searched, and the more I searched the more I came to one conclusion: People are only ever going to treat you how you let them. I learned that much like there were people out there who valued me for more than I ever felt worthy of, there were people out there who would never see me for what I was. The problem was that I could never weed out the bad ones in order to make it to the ones who saw more. When I finally realized this, that was when I decided before I was ever going to let anyone love me, I needed to love myself.

There are people out there who are going to try and define your worth by what they see, but what you need to realize is you have way more to offer than just what one person can see. The only person who truly knows everything you have to offer is you. No matter how close you get to someone, there is only one person who has ever explored every crevasse of your heart. At your weakest, you were the only one who saw how strong you could be, and at your highest, there was only one person who witnessed what true happiness looked like on you.

There is going to be a guy out there who will treat you how you deserve, and he’s going to know how because he’s going to watch how you treat yourself. So be patient, and take the time to fall in love with the person needs it the most: yourself. At the end of the day, people come and go, but the ones who truly understand your worth will never leave.

Love yourself enough to know there should never be a difference between what you deserve and what you accept.