If you have ever had a really bad relationship and break up, then you know how easy it can be afterward, to think that you don't deserve the kind of love that you have been looking for. Maybe you think that you aren't lovable and that's why this relationship didn't work out. Maybe you're having the enemy whisper lies of self-doubt in your ear about how you aren't worth it, how you'll never find anyone, or how you're just damaged goods. Maybe you're going through this right now, but you're just not sure what to do or who to turn to for help with this?
It's OK.
You're not alone.
After being hurt like that, it can be really easy to just throw up a ton of walls and to claim that you've sworn off relationships or to become overwhelmed with self-doubt and to think that you'll never find anyone who loves you ever again.
It's only human, and I've been there too.
The thing is though, you do deserve to be loved, and don't let anyone convince you otherwise.
First off, I want to show you what the Bible tells us about love. 1 John 4:19 tells us that we are able to love because He first loved us.
The kind of love that God shows us is the kind of love that we are to show others. If you are walking with the Lord daily and have His love inside of you, you won't be able to help yourself but to love others. God loves us with an unconditional love, and that is exactly the type of love that He wants you to have with a partner one day. Don't settle for those that aren't willing to show you that kind of "agape" love that God calls us to live by, because you deserve it.
Secondly, I need to remind you that God can use our pain for His providence. We know that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him. He knows our hearts and what we need better than we do.
So you may be thinking that you'll never find someone who will love you again, but I can guarantee that you will. God hears your prayers, and He will answer them in His perfect timing. He will never leave you or forsake you, but you can't rush His plan.
It may take one relationship before you find the person that you are supposed to be with or it may take several. In the mean time, you just need to find relationships that are glorifying and honoring to Him. That is the key to success. Put Him first in your life and first in your relationships with others, and everything else will fall into place.
And lastly, I want to touch on the self-doubt.
Even after the tears fade away, the sting that you once felt in your heart diminishes, and you find yourself moving on, those self doubting thoughts can still overwhelm and consume your mind.
It is a nasty thing to have to deal with, and the enemy will take any chance that he can get to bring you down in that way because he is only here to kill, steal, and destroy.
I know that effects that those kinds of thoughts can have, not only on you, but on your future relationships.
"What if I'm not good enough?"
"What if I am too broken?"
"What if he/she gets tired of me?"
"What if he/she finds someone better or thinks that I am no longer worth pursuing?"
If you've been hurt before by someone who didn't love you in an unconditional way and treated you poorly, these questions may be a sore spot for you; and the enemy will whisper these in your ear until you believe them.
As hard as it can be, you just have to combat these lies with the truth. You are worth it because you know that God made you in His image, that He has a specific plan for you, and your worth is in Him. You are never too broken for God to use you and for others to love you. And if they leave, you know you have something better coming anyways.
I want to encourage you, if you struggle with any of these thoughts or feelings, take them to the Lord and talk to someone that you trust about them. Don't let the enemy whisper these lies to you and suffer alone. Let someone remind you of the God's truth over your life, and know that you deserve to love and to be loved.
