Animals can teach you a lot. They can teach you how to be more kind and caring, they can teach you how to really love and they'll help you understand what patience is. But if there's one thing my cat has taught me above all else, it's that I'd much rather be a cat, and here's why:
1. People would just want to love on you all the time.
If you have a pet cat and have ever invited someone over for the first time, most likely the first thing when they step inside is "KITTY!" Even after coming over at least a good thousand times, people never cease to be excited about pets. Being a cat would be easy, because everyone just wants to be your friend. They just want to pet your tummy and rub your back; they all just want to win your affection.
2. You can beg for food, and they'll give it to you, because you're too cute.
Have you ever tried to mooch some food from a friend? If they're anything like me, this move will most likely get your hand bitten off. But when you're a cat, you can sit there with the sad eyes and they're sure to give you a few bites. If they refuse to share, you could always just steal it, since you'd be sneaky enough to pull off the heist. The best part of it all is that you get praised for being fat! Eat all the treats you want, it's perfectly acceptable in the cat world!
3. You can be a complete a**hole and people still think you're cute.
Go ahead, knock everything off a table! Jump up to where the humans told you not to go! Bite the cord of a phone charger! Live it up! As a cat, you can get away with anything. If a cat murdered somebody, a good majority of people would still be like, "But awwww, it's so cute and fluffy!" The point is, the humans will never hate you, no matter how much you may suck.
4. You would get to sleep all day.
Imagine a world where you didn't have to get up for classes or work. You could do anything you wanted to (which for most of us would be sleeping for forever).
5. Lots of toys and no responsibilities.
Again, all you have to do is sleep, play and receive love. If you're lucky, your human will spoil you and you'll have more toys than you know what to do with. They'll probably buy you a giant cat condo tree and you'll play with it for all of two minutes. After all that hard-earned cash has been spent on you, ignore all of the toys and go play with a shoelace or a bottle cap.
6. You would be so photogenic.
I look like microwaved garbage in 99 percent of my photos. But as a cat, you would never have to worry about this! Cats have this magical ability to look cute at all times, you would never send an ugly Snap again.
7. You'd always have a cuddle buddy and someone to sleep with!
After a long day, your human wants nothing more than to crawl into bed with you. Feel free to sit on their chest on maybe even on top of their head, they won't mind. Take up the whole bed, stretch those legs! No matter how many annoying sleep habits you may have, sleeping alone would never be an issue again.
8. You'd basically be a fuzzy ninja.
Blessed with the power of stealth, you could easily spook your human. Or maybe, using your crazy climbing abilities, you could scare them with an aerial attack! If you don't want to be a complete d*ck, you could just play with your human and do flips and tricks in order to impress them.
9. People would clean up after you.
You could crap in a box and somebody would clean it up for you. You could throw up on the carpet and leave it there, and get away with it. The only other time these sort of things happen is when you're trashed at a party. Well, probably not the pooping in a box thing, but if you have before, then more power to you! I won't judge.
10. You'd get to have a tail.
I don't know, tails are cool, I've just always wanted one, honestly.
11. You're always cute without trying.
No more showers or baths! Just groom yourself a little every now and then and you'll look as good as ever! Even though you'll never set foot, excuse me, paw in another shower again, you won't smell. It's a miracle. If only life could be this low-maintenance...
Cats are the best.
