Being fetishized is not what I exist for. I know a lot of people do not know they are doing it; but, let me explain this to you... If you consider me exotic or different and want to date me because of that – you are fetishizing me. You can like any person you want outside of your race, that’s not the issue – the issue is if you like someone solely because they are black, or the race that they are then you have an issue of fetishizing them. Just because I am black should not be the sole reason you find me attractive, it may be one of the reasons – I’m not saying you cannot like a black girl because she is black. If you like black girls, more power to you. But, if you like her because she is and that is the first thing you can think about above all else, then you are fetishizing her.
There are some people that when you first meet them they say “I’ve never had sex with a black girl” and I don’t know how that comes out of someone’s mouth, but it does. That is a sole example of fetishizing. Just because you have not had sex with a black girl, does not mean that should be the reason you like a black girl or want to talk to them. I’m not a list on your bucket list to check off after you have sex with me, or whatever you are talking about doing. I’m not here to make sure you can tell your friends that you ‘finally did it’ with a black girl. I’m not here to exist because of that – and I am not here to exist for your sexualized, fetishized pleasures. That is where you are wrong. When I first talk to someone I don’t want to hear “oh, you must have a huge butt.” Is that why you are going to talk to me because I’m supposed to have a huge ass? Or because I’m supposed to be ‘thick?’ Or because I am going to be your 'trap queen' because Fetty Wap has one
About a year ago, I remember being on the popular app ‘tinder,’ and when I was that was the first time I was familiar with other races fetishizing black women or any woman of another race. I just so happen to be black. I did not know that we were fetishized. I don't fetishized white men. So why would I think the opposite of that. There were about a handful of white men that would tell me I was the first black girl they talked to, or that I was the first black girl they were going to go on a date with. I even got comments that said, I was the first black girl that they would ever do anything with because I did not look like the typical black girl, I “talked white,” and you all know how I feel about that subject. But, the sole reason you want to talk to me is because I am not 'ghetto?" Because I am not like a girl on a Rick Ross video. Because my ass does not make your eyes go wide in pleasure. Because I resemble a white girl?
I do not exist for your pleasure, I am not black because it pleases you and makes sure you mark off something from your bucket list. I am not black because I was made to be sexualized by you or fetishized by you. I am black because I am black. I am not here to make sure my butt pleases your eyes; I am not here to make sure you mention the fact that I am black every time you see me. I am not here to make that a sole priority of who I am. I am who I am, I have a distinct personality and I am a person, who just so happens to be black. But, don’t get it twisted – I am not black for you I am black for me. Above all else, my blackness is not defined by you, it's defined by me.
