I will never be a 21^st century “cool girl,” that is a fact. Women these days are expected to be poised and ooze sex appeal, but know if the Yankees won last night and belch so loud it echos. They’re supposed to be tireless working women, but go home and clean up the dirty dinner plates like a waitress on a double shift. They’re expected to be a 98 pound dainty fairy, but tell a vulgar joke and shotgun a beer like one of the guys. That my dear, that unreasonable pair of extreme characteristics, is why I can never be a cool girl.

So with that, ere’s a list of some of the things the world wants me to, and everything I chose to be instead…

1. Ladylike.

My Solution: wear converse with my dress.

2. Opinionated but not too opinionated.

My Solution: a raging feminist.

3. Thin.

My Solution: Nutella enthusiast.

4.Exude elegance and class.

My Solution: being myself… what a concept!!!

5. Be great with kids.

My Solution: the kind of babysitter kids like because I am, in fact, a child myself.

6. Graceful.

My Solution: car singer.

7. Not as funny as my male counterpart.

My Solution: a source of comic relief.

8. A good cook.

My Solution: kitchen dance party starter.

9. Fixer of all emotional problems.

My Solution: insightful (or at least I like to think so).

10. A hopeless romantic.

My Solution: A STRONG, POWERFUL, INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DON’T NEED NO MAN!

For all the other ladies out there who feel like they can’t get it right, like they just fit the mold… break it. Break it into a million pieces, and smile when it shatters. Life is too much fun when you stand out to waste it trying to fit it.

Never be one of them!

Good luck out there…