With a society so aware of rape culture and nationwide cases such as Brock Turner's being thrust in the limelight, everyone is focused on how women are being affected by the modern day injustice that makes an appearance on every news channel. While I am gravely concerned for my fellow women all over the world, I find my thoughts drifting to the men of the world, specifically the good men. The men like my father, brother, and boyfriend; the men who read articles and watch the news with disgust as crowds of peoples defend men like Brock Turner for their actions.
From a young age, girls are told that if a boy is mean to you, he probably has a crush on you. We excuse the behavior of the young boy picking on a little girl by saying the famous line "boys will be boys." Fast forward a couple years when an elementary school boy tells one of his female classmates that she's not good enough to play with the boys. She runs to tell her teacher that she's not being included during recess, and she's greeted with, "Oh honey, boys will be boys. He probably has a crush on you. Go play over there with the girls." Because of these interactions, this young girl now has the seed planted that boys show affection through harsh words and misogyny.
Jump forward to high school. The same girl, all grown up now, is oblivious to the advances of the shy and polite boy from her math class, and instead pursues the boy that ignores her in front of his friends and cheats on her when she's not around. We wonder why men think nice guys finish last, but it's quite simple: our society is programmed to teach young girls that the "bad boy" is the one who's treating the girl right. Movies and TV shows portray the desirable character as the guy who has girls begging to have him and other men wanting to be him.
With this "boys will be boys" mindset, we remove accountability for actions rather than issue consequences. We tell boys that they can act however they please, and when they do something wrong, their consequences will essentially amount to a slap on the wrist. No wonder men like Brock Turner and his father exist.
And where does this leave the good men of the world? The statement "boys will be boys" lumps the good men in with the bad men. It implies that men can't control themselves sexually, physically, and socially. It teaches men that they they're not allowed to have emotions, and that they are required to fill the stereotype that boys are thoughtless and mindless creatures who are worth nothing more than the amount of attention they receive from the opposite sex. It enforces from a young age that their actions can be excused because they aren't expected to be better, they aren't expected to succeed, and they aren't expected to be nice.
I am of the opinion that if we stop giving young boys the easy way out, then they will rise above the preconceived opinions that they're not worth anything more than what sports they play and how much sex they have. If we stop providing an excuse for poor behavior, then we will start seeing the nice men of the world pulling ahead, and less men who believe that the world owes them something for being born male. It's not true that nice guys finish last ... nice guys are winners before the game even starts.
