When scrolling though social media lately, I have seen so many lists decoding “What Girls Say vs. What They Really Mean.” The simple phrase “I’m fine” is always at the top of these lists. Apparently, saying you’re fine these days means you are anything but fine. When did we start disregarding our feelings like they are nothing?
We have all been there. Sometimes, one little screw up can throw off an entire day, and when asked what is wrong, we just don’t want to deal with an explanation. Saying everything is fine is the easy way out. It is the less complicated, safer choice.
“I’m fine.”
“It’s okay.”
“Never mind.”
“Whatever.”
“It’s no big deal.”
When we brush off our true feelings, we basically say that what we are feeling isn't valid. We are all humans capable of emotions, so why are we so quick to pretend otherwise? I cannot think of a single major problem that would get solved more quickly by pretending you don’t really care about it.
I am a strong supporter of being straightforward with people. You can only go so long without talking about problems before they expand out of your control. Nobody wants to hear someone say, “Can we talk?” but maybe talking, real, face-to-face talking, is exactly what needs to happen.
The truth is that it’s scary to confront tough issues. It’s intimidating. This is why we often feel threatened by people who are quick to say how they feel. People like that are often labeled dramatic or crazy. Instead of degrading these people, maybe we should learn something from them. The people close to them always know exactly what is going through their minds. There is no game-playing. When we are honest with people we are close to and ourselves, we are capable of having much more meaningful and honest relationships.
One of my favorite quotes by Dr. Suess is “Do what you want and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” How true is that? If someone is able completely undermine your true feelings, they shouldn’t be a big part of your life. I know life is a lot more complicated than that and sometimes, shoving tiny annoyances under the rug is the right thing to do to avoid creating problems, but for the bigger issues, talking it out will solve a lot more problems than it would create. Speak up.
