We are not spending enough time alone. Not because of social media or streaming or smart phone addiction or a need for constant gratification. But because we are human. We are not spending enough time alone because we, humans, know how deeply we need other people. And that’s a good thing. It’s a good thing to lean on others, to share your life with someone, to be needed.
But we need more time alone.
I am an outgoing introvert that loves talking to new people almost as much as I love reading a book at the quiet of my desk and de facto reading nook. I spend about 12 hours of the day surrounded by other people and it really is great. But the busier you get, the more I understand the need for quiet.
Quiet can be scary. Sitting alone with your own thoughts is usually terrifying. Whether with a book or a sketchpad or a treadmill, when we are alone, drowning in quiet, our minds wander and lead us to thoughts we didn’t know we were suppressing. We need to be brought to these thoughts. Confronting these thoughts with the whole of our being is how we learn to understand them and deal with them. Otherwise, they’re doomed to sit inside us, bubbling up, doomed to explode.
When we find quiet and force ourselves to be alone with it, we can see and understand the desires of our mind. It is when I have laid in bed, in the dark and quiet, that I realized what I want from my life. When I have plagued myself with questions of my life, what to do, where to go, who to leave behind, the quiet has helped me lead myself there.
Quiet is challenging, but necessary. Work is hard and being a person in the world is hard. Committing to quiet leads us to the important things. Not just the profound important things, but the important things we like. Quiet reveals, because of the time it provides, what kinds of books we like, the topics we are passionate about, and the issues that are important to us.
Quiet lets us know ourselves. Quiet is the most powerful thing we can do for ourselves.
