Just kidding—we know it isn’t reality. We actually desire the cultural connectedness that it provides us with. When you really get into a TV show, you begin to feel attached to it. Without even realizing it, you begin to vicariously live the life of the reality show that you are watching with each episode that you tune in for. This life doesn’t just stop on screen, though. It becomes a part of your everyday life as well. Office chats, friendly texts and even family gatherings are stimulated by the latest drama last week on "Real Housewives."
"Did you see what she did?" is how the conversation will inevitably begin. You will respond with, "I know!" The next thing you know, you are having a meaningful interpersonal exchange with a loved one that would otherwise not have occurred. That is the beauty of reality TV—it unites us all. You may not think that’s why you can’t stop falling in love with every bachelor, but it’s true.
Not to mention, reality shows teach us to be eternal optimists. Each week we have the internal dialogue to determine if what we are watching is, in fact, scripted. No matter what our better judgment tells us, we say to ourselves, “But part of me wants to believe that this is real.” That is why we keep coming back: we want to believe in something. In our mundane everyday lives, we want to believe that, somewhere, these people’s lives really are just that entertaining. Or maybe it just makes us feel a little better about exploiting their lives. I mean, if they are going to be that crazy anyway…we might as well be able to watch, right?
No matter how we rationalize it, we do. However, what we are really dealing with is a cultural norm. We like to have this impression of what someone else’s “reality” is so that we can compare it to our own, thinking to ourselves that we don’t have it nearly as bad as we thought we did. The Kardashians will always have more ridiculous drama in their lives, and we must continually thank them for setting that bar just a little higher each season. Maybe we shouldn’t hate on them so much; what they really give us is confidence. By their standards, we are really winning at this whole "life" thing.
How are we really winning, though? Well, as a society, we crave connection, and, in order to feel connected, we like to have common experiences. Reality TV allows us to watch a show and share in an experience that we are able to perceive as real. We watch the show, then talk about it with others, and it is almost as if you experienced it yourself. So before you start complaining about trashy reality TV, think about all the times it has strengthened your friendships (maybe even the fact that you both hate reality TV shows bonded you) and sit down for that next episode.
Shout out to "Dance Moms" for keeping my mom and me connected every Tuesday!
