Each of us has that one person where no matter what happens in our lives; where we go, what we do; we always think back to them. Although the first go-round with this person did not go as planned, we find ourselves wanting to go back. We wonder what could have been and what could possibly be if we were to give this person another chance.
I have had many ask me, "Why do you keep going back to him?," and "Do you really think things are going to be any different for you two?" When confronted with these questions, I was at a loss for words. I realize the thought of giving someone a fifth chance is absurd. So, why do we do this? Why is it that we all have that one person that we can not seem to let go and get over?
After much thought, I have some sort of explanation for this common occurrence amongst us all.
The first reason that came to mind was simply that I love him. After splitting with my ex and dating other people, I constantly found myself thinking of him. No matter how great a person the other guys may have been, the fact that they were not him stopped me from pursuing them; I was still in love with that one person. As much as I denied caring about him, I still did. Trying to completely move on from someone that you are still in love with is an impossible task. I have never stopped loving him, and I am not really sure that I ever will. Very scary thought, but true.
After investing so much time into one relationship, it feels as if we are losing a large portion of our own life if we lose them. After we are comfortable with one person, it can be hard to feel the same way around someone new. Then, of course, when someone new comes into our life, we must start everything over; building trust between the two, accepting each other's differences and telling our life story. It is much easier to stick with someone who already knows how to make us smile, what food to bring for lunch and about our crazy family drama.
Along with the "lost time" with an ex, come the memories that will never seem to get lost. The boy I dated throughout high school is the boy with whom I made a lot of my high school memories. When discussing our football team's record with friends, my mind wanders to our school's game against our rival team, which just happens to be the team my high school sweetheart played for. Just the thought of a football game brought me back to his smile after seeing the jersey I had made with his name on the back and him hugging me tightly after a tough loss. When spending lengthy periods of time with one person, we are constantly reminded of the time spent together.
For those of us who have jealous tendencies, we cannot help but feel angry knowing that someone else may be with the person we love. We feel that since we had a person first that they are supposed to remain with us and us only, even after the breakup. Is this right? Well, no. Technically, after separating, both are each allowed to go their separate ways with whomever they chose. But, I'll be honest and say that I get jealous when it comes to that one person. Most girls are jealous of other girls that come in contact with the one they love. The same applies for a lot of guys, too. The second we see our ex giving another person attention that is not ourself, we get defensive and possessive, causing us to revert back to this person out of jealousy.
Personally, I just cannot picture my own life without that one person being present. All the time spent, all the memories made, all the love we have for each other seems to me to be too much to just throw away. What makes matters worse, is that there was no devastating event that caused the breakup. This person has never hurt me the way some are hurt. I think nothing but good thoughts of him. I feel nothing but love from him.
So, for those of you wondering how we could be so stupid for going back to the relationship that did not previously work out, I finally have your answer. We go back to that one person because that one person has left a lasting impression on us that could be ignored, but shouldn't. If someone makes you happy, then who is to say that you should give up on them? Nobody.
XO and best wishes,
Ashley Rose Corbin