If you're a part of #BachelorNation like I am, the last few weeks have been very tough on all of us. JoJo Fletcher's decision on the season finale of "The Bachelorette" ended with her professing her love for Robby Hayes, only to send him home and decide that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with contestant Jordan Rodgers instead. If that wasn't enough to leave us crying on our pillows, we had to deal with the return of Chad Johnson and the trainwreck that ensued on "Bachelor in Paradise" last night. Perhaps TV's biggest franchise, "The Bachelor"/"The Bachelorette" and spin-off "Bachelor in Paradise" all speak to the hopeless romantic within us. We see these spectacular dates and romantic getaways. And those ROSES! "This is what true love is all about," we are lead to believe, but say it ain't so, that's not how love works in the real world!
Unless you're Donald Trump or some other celebrity who can afford to jet-set around the world once a week, an amazing date to you does not consist of being serenaded by your favorite musician or taking a nighttime stroll through the streets of an ancient city. My hope is to one day visit Italy and drink wine with my husband somewhere along the Amalfi coast, but for now, I'd just be thankful if my future boyfriend paid for my meal at Olive Garden.
And as if that didn't already set us up for some unrealistic expectations, let's not forget that no matter how insanely attractive you are, no one is going to follow you around like a seagull trying to eat the last piece of bread that you just threw onto the ground. We will never have twenty hot men or gorgeous women ready to profess their undying love for us in just hours nor will there be a proposal in three months. In the real world, there are tons of awkward encounters before we can truly appreciate how special our significant other actually is. Yes, that moment when someone gets down on their knees will be magical. The wedding will even be an unforgettable moment in time. The difference though is that it will only be shared with close friends and family. Millions of viewers around the world will not be watching as the couple have their first kiss, timed perfectly and captured at just the right angle. Then, when all is said and done, no one will care what you do next when you will give America the #BachBaby they have always wanted, or what messed up stuff you did before reaching this new chapter in your life. Well...unless you're Chad!
Every time that I turn on the TV and make the (unfortunate) decision to watch the shows that these big network channels produce, I realize that our society is really losing a grip on what it means to be in a genuine and loving relationship. Not only are men encouraged to be macho a**holes who toy with a women's emotions for the sake of the show (which isn't helping someone like me), but sweet men who are in touch with their emotions are actually eliminated! I just started watching a show called "Are You The One?" on MTV last year. The claim is that we can all find our perfect match (aka our soulmate) using a combination of science and advice from our family and friends who may know us better than we even know ourselves. The first part actually does make sense considering that it has been proven that attraction is a science. You would think that this would be the recipe for true love, right? Wrong! Out of 10 potential couples, only about two or three wind up being perfect, compatible matches. If you were to watch the show from start to finish like I have been doing during this new season, it's pretty clear why this happens. Aside from the fact that the majority of guys and girls included only seem interested in one "thing" (let's talk about S-E-X), it is also apparent that many of the contestants don't take the show very seriously. The whole basis of the show besides finding love is that everyone splits $1 million if there are 10 perfect matches, so it baffles me when I watch the contestants proclaim that they don't care whether or not their love interest is actually their perfect match. Even if the money isn't a motivating factor, shouldn't trusting in the process to find love be?
You might be wondering why I'm still watching any of these shows if I disapprove so highly of them. I do have a choice as to what I waste my eyesight on. Well, I can tell you that I won't be watching these shows for much longer if they continue to progress in such a way that is actually offensive to someone like myself who has never been in a relationship but wants to believe in the goodness of undying love for another human being. The funny part of all of this was that I was called out online a few weeks ago for sharing my opinion during a live Twitter event. After simply saying that I didn't think sleeping with one girl while you say you love another was the best decision, a frenzy of hormonal teenage girls had many choice words for me, including calling me a name that rhymes with "bore." Even the Israeli contestant himself sent me a response back criticizing me for not understanding the false image that has been portrayed of him because I am a whole three years younger than he is! Rather than come at him with some choice words of my own, I let my standards speak for themselves. I wished him luck, told him to have a good day and maybe mumbled to myself a word that rhymed with "sick." At least from what I see on social media, it seems that perhaps he has matured since the show ended; however, his posse of fangirls have yet to apologize.
