As adulthood and true independence stand on the quickly approaching horizon, I feel myself desperately searching for an anchor to throw overboard to stop this ship called life. I turn twenty years old on the 20th of March and, to be completely honest, I am shaking in my boots. Every day, it seems I release a little piece of my juvenility and replace it with a building block, slowly transforming me into a true adult. In a few months, I will be halfway finished earning a college degree, which is terrifying (because that just means I am fifty percent closer to graduating). Graduation means being thrown headfirst into the chaotic reality of American society as an adult. It means beginning a career instead of working a job, buying a car, paying rent, buying groceries, filing taxes *shudder* and going to the DMV alone *double shudder*. No more parental support, no more campus housing or meal plans, no more life in which my biggest worry is whether speciation is going to be on my Biology test. What in the world am I going to do? Will I get a job? Will I like it? Will I be able to support myself? Will I be happy? These feelings of apprehension toward the future are unfamiliar, as I feel like I have spent my past birthdays wishing for the next year to come as quickly as possible. Now, here I am wishing I could stop the clock as I blow out my birthday candles.

Don’t get me wrong: turning twenty is just as exciting as it is unnerving. I am looking forward to growing up as much as I am dreading it. I am ready to have a place of my own rather than living in a dorm and sleeping two feet away from my roommate. I am looking forward to making my own money and spending it how I want (after paying for all of my adult crap). Most of all, I am beyond excited to get into my life plans and begin my career as a Research Biologist. I’m finally reaching a time when I can get out and see the world while studying the subject that I love. It seems like just yesterday that these plans were so far in the future. Now, I can feel the tips of my fingers grazing a plane ticket to Costa Rica. I can feel the sun on my face as I observe the monogamous mating of the Scarlet Macaw. My dreams are quickly becoming reality and the anticipation is almost painful at this point. Ready or not, here comes the future.

The army of changes marching toward me -- though intimidating -- will result in prosperity soon enough. It is pretty scary, but I can’t think of a time when I grew from a perfectly comfortable experience. I find that the situations that propelled me the most into maturity -- into becoming a tolerable, well-rounded and confident person -- were those that initially made me want to scream and run. It is cheesy, I know, but diamonds are formed under extreme pressure. If we don’t push ourselves by opening our hearts to the changes that come along with growing up, we can never (and, here, I quote Rihanna) “shine bright like a diamond.” I’m turning twenty and I cannot believe where the time has gone. But, my gosh, is the future exciting. I say, “bring it on, Twenty because I got this."