Tinder, the most popular hook-up app on campuses nationwide, very well might kill our generation’s ability to form serious, meaningful, romantic relationships with each other. As someone who has almost walked into a light post because I was busy Tindering, I know how fun and addicting it can be. But after a while, everyone’s conversations started to blur together and I couldn’t really keep track of who said what, nor did I really care. Tinder is just a part of a larger trend of passiveness contributing to the low effort hook-up culture that our generation has fallen into. Could we be missing out on something by moving further and further away from traditional dating?
We swipe left or right to reject or accept someone based on a usually split-second decision that only takes into consideration the physical attractiveness in whichever selfie they’ve carefully selected to represent themselves. Maybe we’ll even take a look through their other photos and read whatever clever little blurb they’ve written about themselves.
After a barrage of left swipes, you (finally) find someone hot enough to swipe right on and you match with them. The conversations are usually just painfully boring small talk until one of you mentions meeting up. And if you do meet up with someone, there’s no way for it to be anything less than 100% awkward. For people who want to form relationships and try using apps like Tinder, it can be frustrating to get sucked into the “smash or pass” attitude of most people our age. This is definitely not how my parents met and it really doesn’t seem to be working out for those of us that want a little bit more substance when we’re talking to someone.
Even outside of Tinder, whether it’s at the bars or a house party, this superficial shopping around for a casual hook-up is something unique to our generation and it’s definitely doing us more harm than good. The casual attitude that is the norm for hooking up has become the general norm for anyone our age who’s trying to get a date. No one wants to make the first move or text back quickly or show any kind of genuine interest. We don’t want to look too eager because someone, somewhere came up with the bright idea that this was a good way to express that you’re interested without being creepy.
As it turns out, you just end up coming across as not very interesting yourself because you’re so caught up in this charade of being nonchalant towards your potential love interest.
What our generation needs is confidence—confidence to ask someone out on an actual date instead of “let’s hang out sometime, maybe” and confidence to not fear the unknown. It’s definitely not as easy as it sounds, I know, but your search for romance will definitely not begin until you shake off the uninterested and uninteresting attitude.