Everyone knows that dreadful moment: when the world moving around you slows down just long enough for you to realize you’re not as big a part of it as you’d always hoped you’d be. For anyone lucky enough never to have experienced this, I envy you. And to anyone who has—you’re wrong. For every person who has ever felt like they were falling apart while standing still, you’re not alone and you’re going to be more than fine—you’re going to be incredible. You already are.
I remember the first time I felt it. Everything started to spin. Breathing became something I was conscious of doing, then something I had to tell myself to do. My body went into fight mode, and my brain followed. "In and out" changed from instructions to a desperate prayer, hoping that in this moment, when nothing in particular and everything at once had made me feel this way, I was helpless. I wish I could say that after calming down, I realized I was more than the anxiety and that I knew I could overcome it, but that would be a lie. I felt that very same feeling of fear more times than I could count until I realized that I was not small, and I was not helpless.
Count the ways you’ve made someone smile today. Then count yesterday, and the day before. Each of those smiles, those genuine laughs that come from the bottom of your belly, those knowing looks—you are the root of all of that. The world without joy would be a bleak, dark place. The ability to evoke happiness in someone is no small talent. You may never be free of the weight of others’ expectations for you—I’m not, and still don’t know when I will be—but they do not define you. When the world starts to spin, and you realize you didn’t get that 4.0 GPA, break that athletic record, or master that instrument, just know: you are not inadequate. The "don’t," "didn’t," and "can't" of the world do not weigh nearly as much as the "can," "will," and "did."
Someone out there is thankful for you. Unfathomable at first, I know, but once you grasp this everlasting concept, this absolute key to success, you will have all the power. I can’t promise everything will be okay, but I can tell you this: that dreadful moment when everything slows down and you realize you’re not as big of a part of the world as you’d always hoped you’d be—it doesn’t exist outside of your mind. Crush it before it crushes you— for you have so much more to offer than it ever will.
