We live in a time where saying I love you “too early” in a relationship can lead to a break up. The rationale? Some people aren’t ready for that level of affection and commitment in a relationship.

I never truly understood that. I know people who tell me that they don’t use the phrase I love you lightly, and I get it, love is a strong feeling, but why is there a time limit in which someone should say it in a relationship? Surely not everyone can fall in love at the same time.

I get it, telling someone you love them the first time can be nerve-wracking. What if they don’t say it back? How will they react? It’s a lot to deal with, and usually people avoid the conversation all together due to the anxiety.

I just wish people weren’t afraid of their own feelings.

In my last relationship, he told me he loved me a few months into the relationship. I didn’t feel ready enough to say it back, and I communicated it with him. I mean, I wasn’t going to lie to him to make him feel better about himself. He was totally OK with my lack of response, however, and that was that. I eventually began to develop those feelings and finally told him that I loved him back.

That relationship is all said and done now, but that aspect of communication was probably one of the better things that came out of that relationship.

I totally understand it takes time to develop feelings, but I also understand that some people can develop strong feelings faster than others. As long as no one is pressured to say something they don’t mean, then I don’t understand the big deal. It’s just three words, and although they may mean a lot, those words should have no pressure surrounding them.

Recently, my boyfriend expressed concern that he was afraid that he will eventually say he loved me too early. He wasn’t in the right state of mind for me to tell him that I won’t freak out if he were to say it to me today, or say it to me in time to come. I know he’s probably going to read this, and I want him to know that there should be no pressure surrounding three words, and not to worry if he does say it to me and I don’t say it back.

This article is not only for him, but to all the other people in a relationship who are afraid to say I love you. I wish you the best of luck, and I advise that if you are planning to tell someone you love them, express to them that it’s okay if they don’t say it back. It’ll make the situation more comfortable for your beloved, and yourself.