"So where are you in school?"
The question of the summer. Waiting tables in a small beach town, it was assumed that, like nearly everyone else there my age, I was a college student there only for a short three months only to return to school come fall. The question that undoubtedly arose any time a customer caught a moment to strike up conversation. It was not a bad assumption on their part. Higher education is essentially a requirement now, given the economy and job market, and this is not breaking news to anyone. Nearly all of my friends are still in school.100% of my graduating high school class went to school. Everyone in my family went to school; in fact, my older brother just graduated. They were partially correct--I was there temporarily for the summer, living with all of my friends who were in school, but I was no longer, and would be returning home in the fall. It wasn't the question itself that bothered me, it was their response to my answer. As the question refashioned day after day, I was never surprised by their surprise. I can't tell you how many times I heard "but you seem like such a smart young girl!" I drew the line, though, when they began to pry-- asking why not, or worse, what I planned on doing with my life without school.
The issue I am addressing here is most certainly not whether society overvalues higher education, because I believe it is impossible to overvalue. I am challenging, rather, societies' reaction to someone like myself, who is not necessarily fulfilling these expectations at this "prime age". It was the customers that I encountered in this vacation-spot beach town, drawn from every region of the United States, that brought me to the realization that this cultural expectation extended far beyond my community and was so deeply rooted into the real world around me.
When it comes down to it, taking time off from school was the best decision I have ever made. I wish I hadn't waited so long to do it. So then, why does my response elicit such a reaction? Why can't I be a smart, well-spoken 20 year old who is not in school?
The territory of the college dropout stigma is cast far beyond its justifiable reach, and I aim to challenge that. After finishing 3 semesters of college, even excelling academically throughout, my well-informed decision to step back and take a break was still criticized by many, friends and strangers alike. It took nearly a month of long, hard, stressful deliberation to finalize a decision. Through two major changes and a handful of random classes, I still had not found something I was passionate about, and what is work without passion? When the question ultimately thinned down to whether I should sacrifice my own happiness to avoid putting my education on hold, I knew exactly which move to make.
I learned more about myself as a result of this one single decision than I ever did in my 20 years of living. Foremost, nothing is more important than well-being. Absolutely nothing. When I found myself concerned only with my own happiness, I was apathetic through negative criticisms. I wasted no time moving forward. I landed a job that both expanded my business skills and rekindled my passion for social work. I took time, sans college stress, to pick not just a school for me to attend next, but the perfect school for me to attend next. I was gaining experience, and money, and liberation--all at once. I didn't deserve to be categorized with those who fail out of school, or those who leave and never go back. A step back was my answer, my saving grace, a total breath of clarity.
Generally, I run on a live and let live principle. Do what works, as long as you love it--however I believe no one should settle for compromised happiness. I made a tough decision that ended up changing my life in the best way possible. I have never felt more on track as I did when I went off track. As a successful (temporary) college dropout, I challenged the social stigma, and my solution was facing an unpopular decision head-on. The answer is: you can still be a smart, young adult who is not in school. Smart knows the value of happiness. Smart knows how to wander without being lost.
