Superbad is the quintessential college comedy- it’s got everything. Girls trying to get drunk, guys trying to get girls, and the crazy things people will do to get to their goals. Everyone has had a Superbad-type night, and that’s why it’s considered one of the funniest movies ever made. Well, to most people. If you really think about the characters and what’s going on that night, it’s a pretty depressing story.

Let’s start with the two police officers. Usually when you think of a cop, you think of big, brave men obviously comfortable in their own skin (or jerks if you’ve ever seen one in midtown). But the officers in Superbad are completely incompetent, exploiting bar fights for free beers, going on random shooting sprees, running red lights, not caring about a robbery, and most of all, letting a minor drink with them and witness them doing illegal things. 

The cops’ sheer stupidity leads me to believe that they most likely flunked out of high school (definitely didn’t go to any college) and had literally no other career paths to choose from (they even say they used to hate cops when they were McLovin’s age so it’s not a chosen career path). Being a police offer is undoubtedly all they have and they’re so desperate to seem cool they invite McLovin along to make them feel like they have a friend. 

Now, that would be passable, but after the night’s events, they are undoubtedly going to be fired…you can’t just blow up a company car and assume you’ll keep your job. That means that these two pathetic individuals (one of which used to be married to a cheating hooker) will go back to having absolutely nothing to live for. 

Let’s move on Becca. Clearly her story is one of a lot of pathological distress. I mean, I would be pretty disturbed if I had seen the contents of Seth’s lunchbox in elementary school too, but to throw yourself onto Evan of all people is incomprehensible. It’s not like she just likes to get around, because she tells Evan he will be her first. Yet Evan is not only much more awkward than her, but she actually catches him staring at her chest numerous times, only to have him punch her in the breast in between class. To be attracted to who, for all you know, is a sexual predator is pretty messed up, and I feel bad for Becca because the movie shows us she’s never going to have a normal life after summer.

But the saddest part of Superbad is Seth’s fate. He doesn’t just lack friends—people actively hate him and make fun of him.  At least he has Evan, right? Wrong. After that summer, they’re going to different schools, leaving Seth alone for the first time in years.  As if being rejected from a good school isn’t bad enough, he now has to be on his own without any clue on how to be socially acceptable. 

What about Jules?  Well she’s clearly humoring him on the night of his party and has no intention of being with him—the look on her face when he tells her how he feels says it all. Basically, Seth is left to go to a reject school with no friends, no style, an unhealthy lifestyle, and his virginity. He hasn’t even had a proper send-off back home. He’s basically doomed to fail for the rest of his life. Or at least until Superbad 2 comes out, where he probably takes the place of the late Officer Slater and Officer Michaels.