Why Should Someone Be Attracted To You?
Relationships

Why Should Someone Be Attracted To You?

Is there a "right" way to attract someone?

408
dimitrisvetsikas1969 / Pixabay

In the midst of a conversation with a friend recently, I got offended. The conversation was along the lines of why it is so hard to find someone to date. Her answer was, "Why don't you try wearing makeup?"

And that completely threw me off. 1. Looks are not going to get you far, and 2. I look great with or without makeup.

I don't usually wear it because I never have. I never felt the need.

For someone to suggest in order to attract someone, you need to basically "look better" shows exactly what kind of society we live in these days. These days people are only attracted to what they see. Exhibit A: Tinder and other dating apps. How do people decide whether to "swipe left" or "swipe right"? None other than looks for the most part.

There is a flaw in the way people date nowadays. Even if it isn't online. Even if it isn't about looks. People don't fight for each other anymore.

I see relationships fall apart left and right because no one is willing to fight for it. Back, say, 30 years ago, relationships were a lot longer lasting because people were willing to compromise rather than just break up over every little thing.

The Question: What SHOULD attract someone to you?

Answer:

Your ambition towards your goals. The way you take care of your family members and/or pets with love. Your personality: the kind of person you are. What you fight for. How your beliefs inspire you.

That is not the end of it. I'm not saying everyone should be this "perfect" ideal person, but that is a taste of what I think people should be looking for when they are deciding whether to date you. All this leads to is the basic thing that we don't look for when we are on those apps: friendship. Perhaps, we need to start normalizing the "friendzone" for the time being.

The greatest relationships I've seen have started out as friendships and they never looked back. They enjoyed their friendship which eventually turned into love. I'm not saying that all your friends will want to be with you, but my point is, you need a base. Because when you get to know someone for who they are and you get a taste of their personality, you can then decide if you want to be with them.

Not all successful relationships start out as friendships. Not all relationships start out as strangers. There is no "normal," but the way we look at dating in this era, I believe it needs more of a change. What could attract you to be friends with someone? You don't look for your friends' looks as a way to start being friends with them, you look at their personality and how they make you feel.

It is important to note that if you base your dating life on whoever "looks good" to you, your dating life will most likely be a disaster. And circling back to wearing makeup to attract someone, that idea is superficial. Yes, try to look neat and put together always, I agree, but don't add that extra step JUST to attract someone. If you are going to wear makeup, wear it for YOU.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Taylar Banks

May 25, 2020: the day that will forever be remembered as the day George Floyd lost his life at the hands of cops.

The day that systematic racism again reared its head at full force in 2020.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

These 17 Black-Owned Businesses Ship Baked Goods, Rosé, And Even Fried Chicken Nationwide

Eat your way through this country's greatest food — from your couch.

Call it the easily bored Gemini in me, but I'm constantly looking for new food to try. Usually, travel quenches my taste for new and exciting cuisines, but given the fact that international travel is not always a possibility, I've begun exploring alternatives.

In the interest of wanting to support the Black community and Black-owned businesses, and also wanting to try some of the country's greatest food without having to get off my couch, I started off (pessimistically) doing research, only to find that the options were vast.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

24 Beauty And Style Brands Donating To The Fight To End Police Brutality Against Black People

From small, boutique brands to legacy fashion brands.

The worlds of beauty and fashion often collide, whether for good or bad. In both, underrepresentation has always been, and remains to be, a major unresolved issue. After the recent killing of George Floyd, many people are rightfully enraged, compounded by the fact his death in police custody wasn't an isolated incident.

Police brutality against Black people is not new, and isn't going away till we start dedicating resources to fighting it. Many of us, as individuals, have only begun in the last week scratching the surface of what it means to educate ourselves on race, historical race relations, and how to be an ally to the Black community.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Feel A Lil' Better: Because You Can Still Connect While Disconnecting From Social Media

Your weekly wellness boost from Odyssey.

No matter how good (or bad) you'd describe your health, one thing is for sure: a little boost is ALWAYS a good idea. Whether that's reading a new, motivating book, or listening to a song that speaks to your soul, there are plenty of resources to help your health thrive on any given day.

I don't know if you've heard, but there's a lot going on right now, particularly in relation to George Floyd's death, Black Lives Matter, and public protest of racial injustice in the United States. While we can all agree that this deserves conversations, change, and actionable good, social media arguments with Great Aunt Linda are not where social change begins and ends. Spending too much time scrolling through your phone has never been healthy, but now it's even more addicting — what does that one person from my hometown say about this? How can I further education within discussions? Am I posting enough?

Keep Reading... Show less

I don't know about you, but reading is at the top of my to-do list this summer... especially with all the social distancing I'll still be doing. If, like me, you're hoping to pick up a romantic page-turner (or a couple dozen), here are 23 romance novels by Black authors you'll absolutely LOVE reading.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

22 Black-Owned Etsy Shops With The Perfect Gifts For Everyone In Your Life — Including You

Treat yourself and your loved ones while supporting Black creatives and artisans.

R-KI-TEKT, Pontie Wax, Lovely Earthlings, and blade + bloom on Etsy

The world is taking action against the injustices and under-representation plaguing Black lives, and one small but impactful thing you can do to actively make a difference is support Black-owned businesses.

Etsy is likely one of your go-to sites for gift-buying, but have you ever paid attention to which independent artists and sellers you're buying from?

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

True Self-Care Is HARD, That Face Mask Isn't Actually Going To Solve Your Problems

There's a line between self-care and self-destruction.

Anyone who hasn't been living under a rock for the past few years has seen something somewhere about self-care whether it was on Facebook, Twitter, or their Instagram feed. Oftentimes it's pictures of celebrities or influencers sipping green smoothies or slathering on mud masks with #selfcare. It's posts like these that made me realize that "self-care" has become the ultimate buzz word, soaring in popularity but in the process, it's lost most of its original meaning. It's time to set the record straight and reclaim the term.

Although self-care has been around for quite some time, within the past few years it's been misconstrued and commodified as our capitalist society tends to do with things it thinks can be profited off. Self-care is now being peddled as something that can be bought and sold on the shelf at Target rather than something that takes real work to achieve. This fake self-care movement is not only enabling people to over-indulge themselves, but it has created a crutch for people to avoid the responsibility of taking true care of themselves. Instead of doing the work that needs to be done, many people fall into the trap of rewarding themselves for doing nothing at all — this can quickly become an unhealthy coping mechanism, especially with corporations cheering us on (to buy their next product). Long, hard day at work? Just grab your third iced coffee of the day! Fight with your SO? Buy that 50-dollar face mask, it'll make you feel better! This is how self-care becomes self-sabotage and self-destructive.

Keep Reading... Show less

Minorities are consistently under-represented in our day-to-day lives, notably in the world of fashion. It's likely you're looking for a way to support black artists. Whether that's the case or you're just a fashion-lover in general, these brands aren't just some of the best black-owned fashion brands — they're some of the most innovative brands of our time, period.

From luxury staples to fun accessories and loungewear, these brands aren't just stunning names you should definitely be following on Instagram, each honors the founder's roots in unique ways with the power of storytelling through artistic expression that manifests in pieces we can't wait to wear.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments