Too often, people think that they know what’s best for other people, or for the world in general.
A lot of the time too, people are really condescending or judgmental about it, about a variance in opinion or dissension in an argument. People want control or want to be heard and they try very hard to make sure their opinions are the most vocal. The worst is when people see those who disagree or do not follow their advice as foolish or inconsiderate.
Ironically, I’m going to write an article condemning valuing one’s own opinion too high above all others, and give my own opinion on a solution to the stress that this causes.
However, I don’t think I’m being hypocritical in doing this.
Because what I’m arguing is that it’s healthy, and leads to more intelligent discussion, to disagree with others, and I wrote an extended opinion about the virtue of this in an earlier article here. However, I will add, I believe that the thing you should do after stating your own opinion is to fade off and let the other person’s free will guide them how they see fit, and this follows what I am doing here.
In my life and my writings, I give my advice to the best of my abilities shaped by the way I see the world. In life, I give my advice to my friends when they ask and whether they follow it or not is not up to me. I did the best I could do by giving my opinion on the matter and from there, they are allowed to act how they want, regardless of if such a way is the complete opposite of how I suggested.
Just because you put work into giving an answer does not mean you are entitled to having your advice be followed. People need to stop taking it as a slight if people do not follow their well-intentioned advice because we need to let people make their own mistakes in their lives.
We can only truly understand from experience, and sometimes that experience is all the other person will need to realize that what they’ve been hearing all along is true. However, maybe the original advice was, in fact, wrong for the person and they were better off following their own instincts. It’s a win-win in either situation for everyone involved, and it’s healthier for you if you let the other person make his or her own mistake rather than worrying about if they’re doing the right thing in rejecting your advice.
If you worry and keep pressing, I find it more likely that the other person will grow to resent the fact that at your insistence, they did it your way and they missed out on what they saw to be an opportunity that could have changed their lives completely for the better.
Parents often force their children into so many things to fit the parents’ interests; sports, extra-curriculars, religions, or political opinions; that it stands to reason to wonder if the children’s interests are even their own or if they’re conditioned to like certain things because of the early and constant exposure. Children should be able to grow and mature at their own rates, pursuing their own interests that will make them the happiest or most fulfilled because only self-fulfillment will lead to true contentment in life.
This doesn’t go to say that children can grow up healthily without guidance, support, and good advice, but they should receive this without being forced into certain ideas or interests simply because the parents think it best.
The most you can do as a person is to give the advice, write the article, or support a certain opinion but from there, it is not up to you to force others into agreeing or to change them as a person to fit what you think best. People need to learn how to make their own mistakes, be accountable, and pursue their interests in the way that makes the most sense to them because they know themselves better than anyone else. Do not criticize people who disagree with you, they have a right to their opinion, and do not pity someone who does not take the path you think is best for them.
And as their friend, their mentor, or their parent, the best you can do for them is to support the person whole-heartedly through their own well-informed decisions and let them know you’ll still be there for them if they need help in the end.
But what do I know? Agree or disagree with this, I’m going to let you figure it out on your own.
