I have a lot of unpopular opinions but one of my most unpopular, and the one I’m always most persecuted for, is my opinion about dogs.
I’m terrified of them.
And with this confession comes most people’s standard reactions: “How could you be afraid of dogs, they’re adorable.” “You just have to meet my dog, he’ll change your mind.” “I used to be afraid of dogs too, you’ll grow out of it.”
Well I didn’t. And I don’t think I will.
And even if you think your puppy is the friendliest animal in the world, you dragging him over to me and letting it jump to half my size while scratching at my thighs won’t change my mind.
I don’t want to have a fear of dogs. I understand it’s not a more rational fear and I try to overcome it. But I’ll do that at my own pace; not yours.
Because people don’t understand how anyone could think differently than them when they hear about my fear of dogs, they laugh. They immediately try to force their ideas about dogs on me, rationalize my difference, or take it upon themselves to “fix” or “change” my thoughts by involuntary exposure therapy.
The reason I’m drawing this parallel is, on a broader spectrum, I feel like most people are just inconsiderate about the arbitrary differences between themselves and others. Especially if it concerns a matter which they consider to be such a normal part of everyday life.
Understandably so.
People become desensitized to differences of preference or opinion, especially when they live sheltered lives. It does not even occur to people that their opinion, even if it may seem like undoubtedly the right answer, differs from that of other people. And I think it’s natural human instinct to react with surprise upon hearing an opinion that completely differs from one of his or her own fundamental beliefs.
What I can’t bring myself to believe is that human vanity is so powerful that it creates the entitled attitude that one’s own point of view on a matter is the only one that can be fundamentally correct or is worth having.
People are allowed to carry unpopular opinions, people are allowed to voice their concerns, and people are allowed to make controversial claims. And although this may simply be another one of my own unpopular opinions, I believe that society must have people willing to speak on such unpopular topics in order to inspire reflection in others.
When a person accepts everything they believe to be fact, without even considering other points of view, it feeds ignorance. This refusal to see things from another point of view puts people into a cage that they’ll never escape because they’ll never listen if someone tells them they’re in it.
Next time somebody says something that surprises you, that doesn’t go with your existing opinion, think about what they just said before immediately refuting it. Try and find some sort of common ground, or see in their reasoning why they think it in the first place. Even if you still don’t agree, it makes neither person any better if you simply mock the other or immediately push your ideas in the other’s face.
And I believe that in some situations, two separate ideas may both have equal merit. However, if not, if we really listen to what the other person is thinking instead of rejecting it, we can either alter our own ideas to be better or solidify our understanding of our own opinions as superior.
The day we all accept that everyone thinks differently and individual different opinions may give light to other truths, will be the day things get a little better for everyone. Even though we may be tempted to call those who carry the unpopular opinion foolish or incorrect we need to remember that we all have different perceptions that come from different life experiences.
And the best way to gain a full understanding of the world is to accept and reflect upon these other opinions without only stubbornly trying to insist yours are right. If yours are right, they will stand up to your further scrutiny, but only if you are willing to put forth the effort to really think on the virtue of what you believe in the first place.
I guess some could believe that it is a "dog-eat-dog world" and only one person’s ideas can be right. But I think that at some point you have to put aside your own individual ideas and allow those of others to broaden your horizons as well.
I’m not saying that my fear of dogs is the right way to approach an opinion about dogs. I’m just saying that maybe this opinion should be considered before it’s immediately dismissed and your attempt to change it because perhaps it contains some legitimate ideas that you can use to shape your own opinions. You never know until you let yourself reflect.
Because in the end, this mutual consideration as to why our opinions may be different is the only way we’ll ever grow as a society towards greater toleration and ultimately the best answers to some of life's most important questions.
