The media teaches us to hate ourselves. The numerous Photoshopped photos on magazines makes us wonder, "Why don't I look like that?"

The answer to that question is because you're human. No normal human being is that perfect looking. We idolize and look up to these people who look this way and even go to extreme lengths to achieve these unrealistic looks. No matter what you look like or what you do, someone will always have negative comments about you. It takes strength to really put your foot down and really stand up against the societal norms and what people have to say.

You want to go college seven states away? Do it. You know what's best for you and what will make you happy.

You want to be a social worker? Go for it. All the people saying there's no money in your profession really aren't important. You're not doing it for the money. You're doing it for that teenager or young child who needs your loving words and touch.

Elementary school or preschool teacher? Same thing. You're not in this for the money, but for your loving soul and passion for people.

Want to be a foster parent? Do it. These children need you. Don't listen to the people saying "You've already raised your own kids. Why raise someone else's?" The point of foster parenting is to provide a loving home to a confused and hurt child. How would you feel if you got your hands in a little bit of hot water and your child was in the foster care system and there were no arms open to take them? Exactly. Yes, you've raised your own children but your love of children has never died and it is because of your loving heart and compassion that you chose to foster.

Scared to wear that crop top because you're a little bigger? Wear it. Who cares who gives you disapproving looks—show your tummy and be proud. Those who look at you are intimated by your confidence to wear something that's made for skinny girls.

Want to wear shorts? Wear them. It's hot outside.

Want to get a tattoo? Do it. If that's what will bring you joy, then go for it.

Dance in public, even if you look like a dead grasshopper. People will always give weird looks and be disapproving. Have fun, and do what makes you happy. Learn to be independent.

You can achieve anything and everything without a boyfriend. You want children? Foster to adopt or become so financially independent you can pay to adopt. This just means more nights with the girls, which is 10 times more fun. Once you realize that you don't need a guy to make you happy is when that crappy guy you're stressing about will back up. Why? He'll see that he can no longer control you, take advantage of you, or make you feel as if you're less than him. He'll see that you don't need him.

For my beautiful black women, love your skin. Love your natural hair. Love the features that you were taught to hate. As Beyoncé says:

I ain't thinking 'bout you (I ain't sorry)

Me and my ladies sip my d'ussé cups
I don't give a fuck, chucking my deuces up
Suck on my balls pause
I had enough
I ain't thinking 'bout you
I ain't thinking 'bout

Middle fingers up
Put them hands high
Wave it in his face
Tell 'em boy bye
Tell 'em boy bye
Boy bye
Middle fingers up
I ain't thinking 'bout you

Sorry, I ain't sorry
Sorry, I ain't sorry
I ain't sorry
Nigga nah
Sorry, I ain't sorry
Sorry, I ain't sorry
I ain't sorry
No no hell nah

Now you want to say you're sorry
Now you want to call me crying
Now you gotta see me wildin'
Now I'm the one that's lying
And I don't feel bad about it
It's exactly what you get
Stop indirecting my grinding

So, ladies, what I'm getting it as that loving yourself is most important. If you don't love yourself, you'll continue to accept trash guys who treat you like so. Once you're independent and happy, then the right guy will be like, "That's my baby!" and snatch you right up. This is no easy process of course. Take it very slow. Get out of the house more. Take walks. Be comfortable enough to wear that swimsuit. Eat the damn cookie, you're fine. Someone will always have an opinion so at the end of the day do what makes you happy and only you. Focus on your goals, believe in yourself, and drink lots of lemonade.

Much love from your favorite Beyoncé lovin' Floridian.

(Yes my manager called me a hippie. It's all in clean fun.)