September first is the hardest and longest day of the year for me. Six years ago today is the day that my best friend left this Earth to join her brothers in her Heavenly home. I can't fully express how much this day affects me. There's so much pain and sadness associated with today. She was a mother, a daughter, a sister, a wife, a Mawmaw, a friend, the list goes on. She loved music and she loved her family. She had a slight temper and knew how to use a switch. She was kind and she was loving. She made you feel welcomed and wanted. She wasn't afraid to speak her mind and let you know was you did wrong. She punished when necessary, she made you feel better when sad, she could make you laugh, she fed you, and cooked the BEST food. She lived her life for her husband, her children, her grandchildren, her brothers, her sisters, her nieces, her nephews, anyone you can think of, she loved and cared for. She was my best friend.
When I was a kid I used to go over to Mawmaw and Pawpaw's house everyday because both my parents worked so Mawmaw would watch me. I grew up with her. Most of the times I would sit on the couch with her and watch Law and Order, Law and Order SVU, NCIS, and the like. She would do her crossword puzzles and I would do homework. We would talk and laugh, and I would help with dinner. I loved just being in her company. I spent all of my summers with my grandparents going on trips or just going around town. I remember one time we went to North Alabama to visit my Uncle Phillip in his new home and then decided to drive to Memphis so we could watch the PGA tour. We packed the truck and all of us pilled in and went to Tennessee. We went to Graceland to see Elvis Presley's home, because Mawmaw loved him. She raised everyone on his music. Then we went to eat at this cool restaurant called Marlowe's Ribs and Restaurant, which, of course, was decked out with Elvis souvenirs. The next day we drove over to the golf course and watched Phil Mickelson (Mawmaw's favorite) and Camillo "The Spider" Villega play. I loved it, I actually joined the golf team because of this moment. I had a lot of fun growing up with her. She was there for everything. All my achievements, my failures, everything.
One night I had gone to a concert to see Train with my Dad, my Mom and my Uncle Phillip. On our way home we got the call. Mawmaw had died and the paramedics resuscitated her and they were on the way to the hospital. We spent the whole night in the ICU waiting room with no word. Then the doctor came in and we were dealt with another hard blow: she was brain dead. They had her on a ventilator but there was nothing there. They gave us three days to see if she would miraculously wake up and, also in my opinion, to make sure everyone could say their goodbyes. Those three days were the most excruciating and agonizing days I have ever experienced. Then on September first, my dad checked me out of school and I knew right then and there that I was about to tell my best friend goodbye. The woman who practically raised me and everyone else in the family, the woman who was my best friend, the woman who I loved with all my heart was about to leave me, forever. That was the worst day of my life. We drove to the hospital and I sat right next to her bed and held her hand until the end. Our family surrounded her and we all sang her to Heaven. That was the most powerful and gut-wrenching moment I've ever witnessed.
The days following her departure were emotional. I felt like I was in a daze. I kept thinking: her and Pawpaw went to North Alabama, she'll be home soon. Six years later and I still forget that she's not coming back. I miss her so much, but I know she's there. When I listen to music I can hear her singing and clapping. When I watch Law and Order SVU I can picture her sitting on the couch. When I look at my mom I see her. When I see a red bird I like to believe that its her, watching over me. That's why I tattooed a red bird on my back, so that I know she's right there behind me. I might not see her, but I know she's there. Our memories will stay with me forever and I am so thankful for that. I am so thankful that I was blessed to have her. I am so thankful for the life she lived and that I was apart of it.
