As a young twenty-something adult, society expects me to be out partying and not staying in on most weekend nights watching TV. Television shows and movies depict our culture as one where young adults are constantly out at bars and clubs dancing, getting drunk, and often hooking up. But for most of my young adulthood thus far, I have never been attracted to that kind of lifestyle and I think it is overrated.

Going out is expensive, and what young person has the money to not only pay for the amount of alcohol one must consume to get drunk while out at a club, but also to pay for an uber or a taxi to get downtown and back home safely? You could always rely on friends or family to pick you up, but who really wants to ask their parents to pick them up completely drunk? And what friend is really going to be the designated driver and watch everyone else get drunk? It is not only dangerous to have to rely on your own driving or strangers that drive an uber to make sure you get home safe, it is just plain stupid.

It is also so hard to actually make a connection with individuals while out at a loud club. Although it can be fun to go dancing and out to clubs once in a while, and don't get me wrong, it's not that I haven't gone out before and done this, but it's not something that I think is desirable to do every single weekend of my young adult life. I would rather get a quiet dinner with a friend or group of people so we can have real conversations with each other rather than drunkenly yell over the music. I also would much rather just hang out and watch a movie together in the comfort of my own home or at a friend's place.

Maybe it is because I am always busy with school, work, and trying to keep up with some kind of semblance of a social life, but I also find it difficult to have the energy to go out. Like I stated before, just the planning it takes to get to some place can be difficult and hard to coordinate, and makes me want to just stay in. Meeting up with people is also extremely difficult, as people don't check their phones while they are in loud places, drunk, and also in dresses that don't have pockets so they don't even have their phones on them.

There is nothing wrong with going out if you truly enjoy it and it is something that makes you happy. But too often I think people go out for the wrong reasons, because they think that it is what they should be doing as a young adult and that they will somehow meet a significant other this way. If you do, then great! But I really do not see how genuine connections are made with others when out in loud clubs while drunk.

If going out is to be accepted as a part of young adult life, then staying in should also be accepted. I often hear people calling themselves "grandmas" or "old" if they do not go out often, and not only is this an ageist assumption (what is wrong with being a grandma? Would you say this in front of your own grandmother?) it also is just untrue. Just because I don't enjoy going out all the time doesn't mean I don't like to occasionally, or like to travel and go out while I am on vacation or are any less fun to be with or talk to. I just find value in being alone sometimes and in reading or watching a movie rather than always being drunk and out with others.

I personally find "going out" to be overrated, but that does not mean that I judge others for doing it. At the same time, I do not want to be judged for staying in and hope that others do not feel pressured to go out because they think it is "what young people do" because in fact, it is not. Not everyone goes out and wants to party, and that is okay. It doesn't make me old, and also doesn't mean that I don't want to go out sometimes, it just means that I do not subscribe to societal norms or believe that in order to have fun I have to be drunk and out at a club.