The refrigerator that stands in the kitchen of my Arlington, Virginia, home is adorned with many different types of little ornaments that display my family and pieces of our lives. Let’s see: there’s the picture of me taken in kindergarten, and the one taken in seventh grade (braces were not my friend). There are quotes that I bought so my mom would smile every time she saw them, and menus from dozens of takeout places. However, there is one magnet that has always fascinated me.

I specifically remember my dad buying it at a police week event. The magnet is a copy of a painting which depicts a strong male angel carrying the body of a fallen police officer in his arms. With clouds touching the angel’s toes, and the officer still in the recognizable blue uniform, I started to gain more understanding over the years each time I wanted to grab a bite to eat. Each time I glanced at the magnet, I sent a quick prayer of thankfulness that I never had to imagine my father being carried by the angel. However, recently it has become all the more real that this magnet may not be on the fridge of every police family, but I can tell you in confidence that it is in each mother, daughter, son, and father’s minds.

Ashley Guindon was sworn in as an Officer of the Prince William County Police Department on February 26, 2016. On February 27, 2016, Officer Guindon was shot in the line of duty and killed. This was Officer Guindon’s first day as an officer. I can only imagine how nervous she could have been, but I feel as if she was also excited. This woman had her entire career ahead of her, memories to be made, and lives to save. It pains me that the life that could not be saved was hers. This is no fault of any law enforcement establishment, but of the people who are intentionally killing the officers who serve to protect them from the very same thing.

When we grow up, we quickly learn that there are the “good guys” and the “bad guys.” As time goes on and events such as these occur, it seems that the good are being taken out of the picture too soon, and the bad are becoming too bold. Law enforcement is a family that does not need to be reckoned with. Officers are here to serve, and the point of the matter is that they put the best interests of others before any interest of their own. They have families, and they have feelings. These families seem to have to be feeling too much heartbreak too frequently.

A website titled Officer Down Memorial Page states, “The man who shot them was arrested at the scene and subsequently charged with capital murder, first-degree murder, two counts of malicious wounding of a police officer, and three counts of use of a firearm in the commission of a felony.” The thing that I can’t seem to wrap my head around is the fact that there will never be any type of punishment for this man that will be able to bring this officer back. However, I can say with certainty that her legacy of heroism and serving dutifully will always be remembered.

I can only imagine how the families of officers who have been killed in the line of duty feel. It is a horrible thing to have to imagine dealing with, but as a child of someone in law enforcement, it is something I have to think of every day when they go to work. I know that there are many others in the same situation as me, and these people are family, too. I do not think of all the bad things that could happen when my father leaves for work, but only the good that he will be bringing to others. It is much more common to think of the massively positive impact law enforcement makes, but these thoughts are hindered by the negative impacts being made on the lives of those who seek justice through the laws.

My heart breaks for the lives that have been lost to those who must not understand, and surely not respect, the heroism that is embodied by those in blue. To take away another life is one thing, but to take away the life of someone who protects your own is hard to understand. Any time an officer is taken in the line of duty, another family member is gone but never forgotten. A badge number is not necessarily a number to identify an officer, but a number to distribute the growing and steady brave numbers of people that are continually seeking justice and safety for the world they live in.

I would like to extend my personal sympathies to Officer Guindon’s family and friends. The pain that you must be feeling right now is indescribable. To my dad, the men I call my uncles, and my second family consisting of the boys in blue: Thank you for being role models and serving to protect us. I am truly sorry you have lost one of your own, but I’m sure the angel on the magnet held her steady.