The short answer is because no one thinks that others will understand.

Considering 1 out of every 4 pregnancies results in a miscarriage, this isn't necessarily true. But we also don't know that, because nobody talks about it.

Nobody talks about the part where you're all of a sudden not yourself anymore or why you're disconnected from everything and everyone.

When it is talked about, do you even really understand what it means? Or what has happened? Or what that person is going through? I didn't.

I didn't until it was me. Which I guess is how most situations go in life. You don't truly understand them or feel for others until it happens to you.

Most people's responses when you tell them you've had a miscarriage is either "It just wasn't the right time for you" or "Why don't you just have another one"? Miscarriage is something very real, very common, and very painful (some physical, but mostly emotional).

Do you ever stop to realize what a miscarriage actually means? Probably not, I know I didn't. I didn't realize that there's so much more to a miscarriage than just losing one baby before you go on to have "another one".

When someone says they've miscarried you don't think about any of the heartbreaking details surrounding this tragedy. Most people don't take into consideration how traumatizing the situation really is, especially for Mommy-to-be and Daddy-to-be.

Did you even realize they were planning for that baby? Or how excited they were to see that first positive pregnancy test? For their first baby together and to start a family? Or how excited everyone was when the news of the first grandchild was announced to their families? Or how excited they were to find out they're going to have a niece/nephew born around the same time?

Did you think about the announcement ideas, nursery ideas, or baby shower ideas that were already picked out and saved on Pinterest? Or what about the baby girl names and baby boy names? Did you think about how they'll feel trying to consider those same names when they do "just have another one"?

Did you think about how anxious and on edge the next pregnancy will be? Unlike the happy thoughts that filled the first pregnancy, now worry will be the common feeling. How could they feel those same happy thoughts that they felt before going to the first ultrasound to be told their baby had no heartbeat? After they were told their baby had stopped growing 2 weeks prior?

Did you know that baby came into their lives when they had both needed it the most? Did you know about the depression that baby had pulled them out of? Or the happiness that then filled their hearts because they could feel like they had something to live for? Just for it to all be taken away again.

Did you know the joy that Mommy-to-be felt to have found someone worth starting a family with? Or what about how she felt to have a baby inside of her one day and then not the next day?

Did you realize how much more likely it is to question your faith at a time like this rather than actually thinking that someone like God would cause you so much pain and unhappiness? How many times they'll hear "It wasn't the right time" and they won't believe it because they know the love they could've given that baby?

Did you know they don't want to "just have another baby", that they wanted THIS baby? Or that the Mommy-to-be has to make the call to give up on this baby that they planned for and have it surgically removed when all she wanted was to give him/her a happy and healthy life?

Did you think about the guilt that she feels because she can't help but think of what she should've done differently? Or the guilt that she feels for not cherishing every single moment of her pregnancy? Or what about the guilt that she feels for now feeling angry towards others' pregnancy announcements?

No, you didn't. I know I didn't. So it's easier to just not talk about it if you can't tell your whole story or talk about all your pain because everyone figures that no one really wants to listen to all that, right? And even if they do, would they even understand then? Sadly it's less painful to keep these thoughts and feelings bottled up than it is to try to find comfort in peers that can't empathize with you and only say the wrong things.

Can we normalize talking about our stories and experiences and being there for one another? Can we do better to stop acting like we know what someone's going through and actually try to understand their pain? I know there's others out there with similar stories with even more feelings that I didn't mention. These are just a few of the millions of thoughts that now cross my mind every single day. In fact, everyday there's new thoughts that slide in to marinate with the others. And these feelings will never go away, but do we talk about them? No because it's so much easier to just say "I'm okay" instead of trying to explain feelings that are a foreign language to others.