With the start of a new year comes the familiar story we all know, and have probably experienced ourselves: "I'm going to make a change!" Only a month later, we're back to our same routines and have given up on fulfilling our promises to ourselves.
Why does this happen every year? Why do we make these goals for ourselves with every intention of working hard to achieve them, only to give up or forget about them before we've even really begun? How can we make our resolutions stick this year?
These are all questions that probably don't have a single, clarifying answer -- and that is why we still struggle to keep our New Year's resolutions.
In my experience, New Year's resolutions (or any resolution, really) are taken up when time, or the future, is prevalent in our minds. We start exercising and dieting in March to get ready for beach season in June, we buy calendars and journals to get organized when school is about to begin again, and of course we make resolutions for the upcoming year in January.
It's easier in the beginning to keep our resolutions, because the future and our goals are still in the forefront of our minds -- we haven't quite settled into the routine of the new year just yet. The further into the year we get, the future-oriented thoughts calm down into the everyday experience, or become more focused on the next holiday rather than the entirety of the year ahead. The motivation we had at the beginning of the year can fade if we don't consciously keep the future in our present thoughts.
Not only that, but in many cases, our resolutions are much more difficult to manage than we give ourselves credit for. Altering your behaviors from the norm can mean either breaking old habits or making entirely new ones, and according to research, this is not as easy as it may seem. The rule for changing habits used to be 21 days, but new studies say that this is not strictly true. Depending on the person, it can be instantaneous, or it can take years.
So how can we do it? Well, researchers say that individuals that start new habits or break old habits for reasons that are aligned with their personal values and beliefs with have more success than those that don't. Having an important, personal connection with your decision makes the new behavior easier to stick to.
Also, positive reinforcement is a must. Researchers note that breaking a habit is harder without replacing it with an alternate behavior. Want to stop biting your nails? Try carrying a comfort stone instead. Need to kick a smoking habit? Chew gum. Breaking an old habit is actually switching from one to another -- the old habit might still exist even, but the new habit should be stronger than the old one.
So this year, be smart about your New Year's resolutions! Be sure to make resolutions that have a deeper, personal meaning to you. It might help to continue your motivation if you make a plan to work on this goal with another person that understands how important it is to you, they can keep you accountable. If you want to break an old habit, think about an alternative behavior that you can use to substitute for the old one to ease your journey. And finally, don't be hard on yourself if it takes longer than you thought it would to reach your goals. The important thing is to keep up the hard work, because any progress is better than not trying!
It's a new year, new you, right? You can do it!
