It’s old news that overwhelming stress affects more college students today than it ever has in the past. Colleges are more selective, the job market is cutthroat competitive, and social media bombards us with constant images of that elusive perfect life we’re all supposed to aspire towards. We’ve heard these things a million times, likely even vented about them with friends as we scarf down dinner in the dining hall, rushing to get to this week’s mountain of assignments.

“It’s messed up,” I say to my roommate when she gets back at 3 AM after cramming for her upcoming exam. “This isn’t what college is supposed to be like”.

Of course my words had ceased to mean much at that point, as I’d probably had the same conversation a hundred times before, never with any resolution or takeaway, nor any real sense of comfort after the fact. I probably feel so hollow after making comments like these because that is exactly what they are: empty statements as automatic as brushing your teeth. The reality is that stress has become ingrained in our daily routine, snaking its way in so deeply that it is sometimes difficult to see its full effects from an objective vantage point. The articles in the news talk about the disproportional stress of college students today as compared to our parents; they are talking about us, and this is our world. How could we really understand the seriousness of the situation when we have nothing else to compare it to but our parents’ nostalgia-laced stories that we can never truly experience? Maybe it’s better to try to ignore the racing pulse accompanying three midterms in twenty-four hours, or that infuriating frustration when you finally finish a giant paper only to find yourself face to face with yet another mind-numbing problem set. Or pretend like the weekend was fortifying enough to get you through the week stress-free when in reality you went out one night, slept most of Saturday, and scrambled to catch up on work all of Sunday, dreading Monday like a funeral. I think we should dig deeper to understand what stress is doing to us besides stealing our sleep, because I believe it is taking much more away from our daily lives than that.

The other day I was in one of my panicked states, speed walking across campus like a maniac to start studying for an exam, a quiz, and finish a project. I couldn’t conceive how I would get it all done and my gut told me there was no way I could do well on everything. My GPA would drop this semester, hands down. I’m a failure. The thoughts started escalating, and I walked faster. To calm myself down, I kept a silent chant going: You have an internship for the summer. Don’t freak. This mantra usually puts me at ease, but for some reason it felt empty this time, and I felt a wave of sadness out of nowhere. That’s when I realized that this line of thinking had become all too familiar, so familiar that I’d fallen into its trap completely.

This was the stress talking, the stress that makes us look forward constantly. It started when we were seniors in high school; only if we were lucky enough to get into college early could we enjoy second semester and manage the stress of an AP course-load, because we already had a spot secured at our dream school—we had to earn that sense of security and peace of mind. In college, the stakes just get higher. The new task is always at the forefront from day one: get a job, a good one, and a high-paying one, at a prestigious company. How do we do this? Get good grades, be involved, and maybe don’t sleep as much as we should. Always think ahead, be proactive, hustle, and above all do not stop, ever. This hit me as I almost crashed into an innocent pedestrian who was walking too leisurely for my hyper pace. I slowed down for a second after apologizing, letting my heartbeat fall and relishing the sun on my face and the smell of the deliciously smoky autumn air. It was a gorgeous day and I hadn’t even noticed; fall is my favorite season and I’d barely had a chance to admire the burnt orange leaves against the golden backdrop of the Dome, never went apple picking with my friends like we swore we were going to in the beginning of the semester.

It was just a moment, but sometimes those fleeting epiphanies are what it takes to gain perspective in an increasingly distorted world. Stress casts a spell on us, yes, and it doesn’t seem to be going away anytime soon. Regardless, the power lies within us, and though it takes a great deal of effort at times, it is well worth turning our minds off of the unknowable Future to focus on embracing each day of some of the best four years of our lives. Otherwise, what crazy college stories are we going to tell our kids?