Everybody makes mistakes. At least that's what we've been told, right? Yet we continue to judge others on we assume about them based on their past choices, which inherently, includes their mistakes. One of the biggest things we judge others on, especially when they enter a new relationship or commitment, is their past. "She's dated X number of people so there's no way they'll last," or, "He's just playing her. There's no way it's anything serious." While these statements can be accurate, it does not mean that they define who you are. You are more than your relationships, present and past.
Your past relationships do not affect your intelligence. Judgement and intelligence, while often considered the same, are not. Your judgement is based on instinct more than fact. Intelligence assists your academics and general knowledge. Maybe you dated 27 different people your sophomore year of high school, and maybe you got straight As. It's not a mutually exclusive relationship.
This correlation is a two-way street. Your appearance or clothing choices do not define who you date or the outcome of the relationship just as much as your relationships do not define your appearance and clothing choices. Girls that date a lot are often categorized as slutty. Girls that wear shorter shorts and lower tops are also categorized as slutty. Higher necklines and longer, looser pants create the "prude" schema, as does staying out of relationships. Now it's not that there is no connection between these things, but that you shouldn't let them engulf you. Wear the booty shorts and stay single. Put on that sweater and go on different dates each week. It's important to not let society's schemas change your behaviors.
People like to predict the outcome of your relationship based on the ones in the past. Regardless of how they ended and who you dated, don't let it affect the here and now. There are a million opportunities for a relationship to fail, but your past is not a valid reason to put an end to a healthy, loving, and building relationship.
Lastly, remember to find that healthy relationship. Everybody has an opinion and different perspective of your life and relationship. That's inevitable. But it is very possible to go from having many short-term relationships to finding your person. It's also possible to leave a long-term relationship and begin dating again. Just find someone that makes you happy, supports you in everything you do, and tries their hardest to build with you.
