We've all experienced it in some way. Whether it's the end of a romantic relationship or the end of a friendship, losing someone is never easy. When you lose someone you experience so many emotions. There are a million things that go through your mind, and it can almost be too much to handle. Yes, it's hard. No, grieving shouldn't have a timeline.
Whether you lose someone to death or feelings fade away, you will go through the five stages of grief.
Denial.
"This can't be happening." Just one of the many thoughts you'll have the days after your emotional loss. You'll try to convince yourself that things will get better, but all you want to do is cry it out.
Anger.
He cheated on you. You have a right to be angry. Although, when it's your grandfather you lost to illness, you're angry at God. Anger is part of dealing with your loss. It's natural to be angry. During this stage, watch who you're surrounded by. Your true friends will never leave you, no matter how much of your anger you take out on them. This can be a very frustrating time. Remember that this loss, no matter what, is not your fault. Death is a natural part of life. Moving on is a natural part of life.
Bargaining.
You will want to "change" yourself for him. This is a dangerous stage. We tend to lose a sense of ourselves during this stage. If he takes you back, you will lose a part of yourself you may never find again. When you find yourself in this stage, you should proceed with caution. He doesn't deserve you.
In my opinion, this is the most difficult stage. It can last days, weeks or even months. It will keep you from your friends, and in severe cases, can dramatically affect or change your life. These are the hardest of days. It may be hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it's there. I promise. If you believe that this stage is especially difficult, please know that it's okay to seek help, from anyone. Your friends, family, school counselors and so on care more than you think. Keep your head up because the acceptance of this loss is just around the corner.
Acceptance.
Eventually it will happen. Not the fake kind of "okay," but one day you really will be okay. You'll be able to wake up and be happy for seeing another day. You will find a friend better than the last. You will find the one who brings your heart back to life. You will move on.
Going through these stages is so natural that sometimes we barely realize we are going through them. It's important to recognize these stages and allow yourself to heal emotionally and mentally and be well enough to move on.
Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have—life itself.
—Walter Anderson
