In recent years, research has reported that the number of singles has surpassed the number of married couples for the first time since...well, ever. Although this isn't necessarily a bad thing — I am all for empowerment, self-discovery, and independence. Life does not need to be defined by a romantic connection, and that's a fact. However, something tells me that those numbers aren't all single soul-searchers that are choosing to live life on their own terms. So for those that are seeking these romantic connections and seeing them fall short, I have made a few observations that are detrimental factors in maintaining a successful partnership.
It's unfortunate that I hear more stories of heartbreak and betrayal than I do of happiness and loyalty. People often wonder why nothing works out for them through the trials and tribulations with whomever they are trying to pursue relations with. Why there are no more high school sweethearts. Why chivalry, romance, love, all seem to have died somewhere in the millennials' lifetime. I know what's wrong with this generation, though. It's apparent and, quite frankly, it's disappointing. There has been a shift in the dynamic of how relationships are supposed to work. If we can even call them that, that is.
The first issue is that the title of "relationship" is something everyone seems to avoid like the plague. The terms "talking" and "having a thing" have replaced those such as "we're dating" and "that's my boyfriend/girlfriend." Many people say that they are just seeing how things go, getting to know each other. To that, I say "bullshit." The truth behind these phrases is that we are all so damn noncommittal — so terrified of being vulnerable that we keep the door half open just in case something better, or simply just something new, seems to wander through it. We are easily bored, easily persuaded, easily enticed. Stability comes second to excitement, instant gratification trumps the quality of a valuable relationship. We are so wrapped up in our own ego that keeps us compelled to remain on the market in the eyes of everyone else, even when we are pursuing someone behind closed doors. Far too often, these evasive "labels" (again, if you can even call them that) lead to a few hook ups, short exchanges of unexplained feelings, followed by a falling out, and the giving up of something that was never really "had" to begin with--leaving one or both parties left with uncertainty, confusion and lack of closure. We are embarrassed to feel in a society of learned heartlessness.
The second culprit in the insensitivity epidemic is without a doubt — everyone's favorite double edged sword — technology. In full, social media has completely destroyed our perceptions of what a true relationship is. We have been so caught up in what to show off on social media that we seem to lack genuine pursuits in putting effort toward a relationship that isn't visible on a screen. Furthermore, it has given us an easy platform of potential unfaithfulness and micro-sized issues that turn into major turbulent elements. A place where we can get by with half-infidelities that lead to deep-rooted mistrust in all areas of the relationship. We no longer cheat with actions; we cheat with typed words, with deleted messages, with shares, with retweets and likes. Oh yes, it's true, there has been a change, but not one that is irreparable. The solution is the painfully obvious that we seem to need to be reminded of.
Tell that person how you truly feel; don't hold back due to fear of rejection or reciprocation. Hold your significant other's hand in public and refer to them as such when you introduce them to others. Stop caring what your friends have to say about "being whipped;" treating someone you love with a substantial amount of respect isn't something to be ashamed of. Don't fall into the social media traps; just because it's easy access to any inbox or photograph doesn't mean you should (nor should you want to) take it. Tell them you love them, and mean it, to their face if you are able to post it on the internet. Keep your word, always be honest, be proud and loyal, and give your 50 out of the 100 that makes up your team.
If you feel like love is dead, it's time for you to contribute the first breath of its revival.
Ready, set, love.
