Love is a beautiful thing. Walks in the park, hand written letters, funny jokes, watching the latest movie and other countless activities we do just because we’re in love. Love inspires us to be our greatest selves and gives us the wings to transcend barriers we never thought possible all because someone cares deeply for us. Love and freedom goes hand in hand; if love isn’t free and freeing, it is a dictatorship masquerading behind the pretenses of a troubled heart. How many times have we watched a disturbing movie or documentary where the main character is bullied, manipulated and alienated in the name of love? When the protagonist finally captures the villain, he proclaims “I did it for love.” With raised brows and a hanging jaw you’re thinking about that very relevant Tina Turner tune, “What’s love got to do with it?” Absolutely nothing is the answer to this question in such cases. Love is not abusive. Love is not blind and it certainly isn’t crazy, but people are. It saddens me to discover that many are left without healthy examples of love. Therefore, they don’t know how to operate or appreciate it when it comes around. Here are a few helpful tips I’ve learned from public and private experiences:
- Love doesn’t have to be advertised. Love is a light that shines even when you want to hide it and when it is reciprocated in a relationship people just know it when they see you together.
- Love does not have to be policed. Trust is the container that holds love and when it is intact, there is no need to become Matlock, Columbo or Inspector Gadget; taking his/her phone to check text messages and emails. Remember, freedom is an intricate part of love. People find a way to do what they really want to do; if someone wants to cheat on you, you cannot stop them.
- Love cannot be forced. If you’re constantly plotting and scheming to get the person you want, you are creating a hostage situation and it’s only a matter of time before the individual can sense it. You may end up in a relationship, but it won’t last. Being together becomes an arrangement making you companions of convenience (roommates).
- Love is not Lust. We are physical beings who appreciate comely cosmetics, but when it comes to real love many can’t explain what it is about that person they are so drawn to because it is more spiritual than physical. Although looks can cause the initial attention, it is the heart and character of the individual that responsible for retention.
- Love is a good thing. According to Paul’s letter to the Corinthians, love endures, and is kind; it is not envious; love doesn’t boast and is not arrogant, love is not rude, love is not an opportunist or fortune hunter, it is not easily provoked, thinks no evil; weeps over injustice, but rejoices in the truth; abides all things, believeth all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love does not give up.
